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 Review #4741275 |
 | My Mom is a Student  [E] Pantoum about my mom, who amazes me with her determination & desire to achieve perfection.  |
| (5.0)  This Review was done on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Hi BeHereBook .I'm JACE - House Targaryen , and I have the honor of reading and reviewing your offering "My Mom is a Student" . The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  Overall Impression. Good afternoon. As stated above, I'm taking a moment to review at offering from the many in your Port. Normally I don't review poetry, but I do dabble now and then. You cited a poetic form to which I'm unfamiliar. I will have to look into this form.  Editorial Thoughts.  Regarding that particular form--please consider adding a note explaining the Pantoum form. I can discern a rhyming pattern of a-b-a-b for each of the five stanzas, and the repetition of selected lines from one stanza to another. But honestly, I found it took too much time to readily break down the format in order to copy it. Off to the Internet I go. Of further note, some of your readers might be interested in knowing to which contest your offering was submitted. I believe most writers like knowing where they might submit their work. Your subject was your mother. And your treatment of her using this poem was well done. She sounds like a driven woman who desires to succeed. She's lucky to have such support for her endeavors. I'm impressed with the flow that you've achieved despite the repetition of lines. It all works together well. What subject or discipline was your mother studying? Did she achieve her goal? It must take a lot of sacrifice to return to school while raising a family.  Technical Considerations. This section relates to the mechanics of your writing. I question the use of the dash in your first line. I find it unneeded, at least in any punctuation stance. And you don't use it for that same line in another stanza.  Favorite Part. To me this one stanza really sums up the essence of your mother and her efforts to succeed. She iterates, edits, and gains. 'Til perfect, her actions repeat, each cycle, a better refrain until the result is complete.  My Rating. 5.0.  Thank you for sharing your offering.
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You responded to this review 04/15/2024 @ 2:09pm EDT