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Review #4742494
Viewing a review of:
 The Last Fifteen Years  [ASR]
Writer's Cramp entry. A post-apocalyptic narrative poem.
by Lady Elizabeth Mormont
Review by Jeff
In affiliation with The Free Folk  
Rated: ASR | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
The Free Folk image for G.o.T.


Hello Lady Elizabeth Mormont

I'm sending this review in connection with "Game of Thrones.


*Penw* Positives

I really enjoyed this post-apocalyptic narrative poem. That's not a genre I read too often but I might have to remedy that because this was great! I particularly liked the vibrant imagery you used, packing a lot of both worldbuilding and character development into comparatively few words and lines. My favorite line in the whole poem was the one about not hunting rabbits but rather "a chance to redeem". *chefskiss*


*Penw* Suggestions

In the second to last stanza, there are imperfect rhymes due to the use of plurals in the second and fourth lines. Since this is the only place in the poem this happens, it stands out as a bit off compared to the rest of the poem which has perfect rhymes for each line of each stanza.

There's also a small typo in the second to last stanza; I think it should be a possessive creatures' rather than "creatures" in the second line, given the grammatical structure of that stanza of the poem.


*Penw* Overall

Overall, I really enjoyed this narrative poem. I thought you managed to tell a lot of story in only a few short lines, and the level of setting detail and characterization you managed to fit into it was really impressive. Nice work!


Respectfully,

Jeff
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