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 Review #4744311 |
 | Solar Eclipse  [13+] The year is 2135. Europe is excited for the solar eclipse. But something's just not right.  |
| (4.5)| Hi MayDay ,This review is a part of "Game of Thrones" [13+].  Overall Impression: This is an interesting little story. I didn't expect the twist at the end - intriguing! First of all, I want to congratulate you on your character creation. It isn't always easy to create convincing characters within a relatively short space. You, however, managed to do so. Victoria is believable as the mother who wants for her children to enjoy a unique experience, but she's coping with two very different personalities and that's not easy! Grace is into the event. Alex very much isn't. He's a believable stubborn kid who is testing boundaries and wanting to be his own person. What's so interesting and unexpected is what his decision to stay in the car leads to... If you ever wanted to, you have a good beginning here to a longer piece. What happens when Alex discovers where his mother and sister have gone to. How many people are left. How will he - and they - cope? As it is, I enjoyed this story. Well done! Suggestions: I only have one suggestion: Paragraph 18:  What was his mother and sister seeing?I think that 'was' should be were. My Rating: This is an entertaining story. I enjoyed the read. I did have one suggestion, but nothing major. Therefore, I will give this item a rating of 4.5 out of 5. Thank you for sharing your work. Write on! Kit   The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.  My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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