*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744477
Review #4744477
Viewing a review of:
 The Town Watcher  [E]
Millicent has the time and the inclination to keep an eye on things.
by SandraLynn Team Florent!
Review of The Town Watcher  
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

Hallo SandraLynn Team Florent! !*Smile*
I will be reviewing your work "The Town Watcher"  on behalf of "House Targaryen Points"  for "Game of Thrones" 

*Dragon2* Content:

In a small town, there's always one person willing and ready to be the neighbourhood watchdog/guard/snopey/nosey person. But you must not call dear Millicent any of that though. She's simply doing what needs to be done.

*Dragon2* Pluses:

First off, happy Writing.com anniversary! We're glad you're a part of the community, and I hope you continue to grace us with your positive contributions for many more years to come. *Bigsmile*

Now, onto the story which had me going...whoa! Has she been spying on that lil' old lady that sits right across the library with the exact same gear? I mean, who wouldn't fall in love with this character you've conjured up? In such a short story, our protagonist - Millicent - appears to be one heck of a woman determined to do her duty to the fullest (well in memory of dear Sam who passed away doing the very same thing...how though? Now, I'm super curious about that).

In addition, your use of imagery - through her non-verbal narration - was very well done. From her thoughts we are able to get a picture of each individual that makes a cameo in this tale; and the grand finale...well, that should be enough to keep her entertained for a while to come!

*Dragon2* Suggestions:
Here are a few things I noticed while reading. Please remember that these are only my suggestions/opinions and it's ultimately up to you to choose what works best. *Smile*

>>With one final sigh (,) and a brief second to smooth her wrinkled skirt (,) Millicent tugged the binoculars

>>she had no intention of being anight watchman
(formatting error there)

>>Tossing a handful of peanuts to the ground (,) Millicent signaled

>>Across from the town square (,) Mr. Peabody dropped his

>>her parked car.Has he
(another formatting error)

>>Are you seeing this (,) Sam?

*Dragon**Bullet**Fire**Bullet**Dragon*


Aside from the little nitpicks with the punctuation, this was quite a delightful short story! Thanks for sharing and keep on writing! *Bigsmile*

Fire and Blood - the Throne is Ours!



Disclaimer: The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/13/2024 @ 10:58am EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4744477