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Review #4744574
Viewing a review of:
 Exploding Daisy?  [E]
Setting the record straight.
by SandraLynn Team Florent!
Review of Exploding Daisy?  
Review by Lornda
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)


The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.



*Sun* I enjoyed reading your story! A nice play on words, which made for an entertaining read. It's told from the POV of the main character as he relates what happened one day. The first paragraph introduces the scene and leaves us hanging to read on. The narrator is a giant, and it's like he's at a get together telling us a fun story. *Stary*

*Sun* I liked the way it worked-up to a fun ending -- a punchline of sorts to leave us with a laugh. The pace was done well as it slowly revealed some funny things that happened. As far as feedback goes, I would liked to have seen a little more description as it transitioned into the secondary character of the dragon. There's a couple of typos in this line:

...tongue. [space needed here]Nobody has encountered an explosive daisy and lived to tell the tale. Does it sound believable? You hear explosive and kaboom, *Left* It's like there's a word missing here, or maybe [a explosion]?

Tips: Try and fill out all the genre spots. It does help bring in more people to read. *Wink* For easier reading on here, a line between the paragraphs would split it up and maybe, a size 3.5 font.


*Sun* Overall, a fun story to read! I liked how the giant told the story, and I could picture the scene. Good job on writing the features of the giant it was easy to visualize the main character perfectly. Keep up the great work!

*Swords* Lornda



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