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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4746612
Review #4746612
Viewing a review of:
 Under the sea  [E]
born 2005/01/24 Age:15
by Solosan
Review of Under the sea  
Review by Cubby
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (5.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill* *Quill*


*CakeB* HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews" *CakeP*

*Tulipp* Greetings, Solosan! I am reviewing this because today is your 18th WdC Anniversary. *Smile*

*Quill* First of all, my reviews are intended to be helpful and encouraging, not hurtful in any way. Use what you feel works for you, and leave the rest.

*Tulipo* The Positives/What I Liked

         *Bulletv* Wow. I could actually feel myself relax, like I was floating among the waving seaweed, suspended in a world of colorful coral and fish, the colors of a rainbow. I feel the calm, hear the silence, and gaze at the mysteries as peace replaces fear and anxieties. Oh, your words are so lovely, so calming.

         *Bulletg* If I listed all my favorite lines, I'd include the entire poem, so I'll only highlight a few:

Suspended in this fae world

The current washing my fears away

Sea weeds wave at me,
Moving languidly and at ease,



*Tulipo* Suggestions/Comments to Consider

         I really have no suggestions. This is so beautifully written, if there were any typos, they went unnoticed.

*Notev* Actually, I do have one thought for you to consider. An option, perhaps. I noticed that each line begins with a capitalized letter. You might try uncapping a few of those letters for flow. Here's one example:

Now:
I can find peace there,
Where whales sing.
In the calm deep blue,

Option:
I can find peace there,
where whales sing.
in the calm deep blue,

Anyhow, just a suggestion. *Wink*


*Tulipo* Final Thoughts

         Your visuals are amazing and your words are therapeutic as they float along so smoothly. Thank you for sharing!


Have a great day and...*Quill*
  K e e p on W r i t i n g !
Cubby ")
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