*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4746763
Review #4746763
Viewing a review of:
 ONE DAY IN 5TH PERIOD  [E]
A student in my 8th grade remedial english class wrote his first poem ever.
by Rita Littlemoore
Review by Beacon's Light
In affiliation with The WDC Angel Army  
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello! I found your poem at random. I'm writing this for: "Game of Thrones"  and I enjoyed reading it and I hope you find this feedback useful.

I am the watcher on the walls. I am the shield that guards the realms of men. I pledge
my life and honor to the Night's Watch, for this night and all the nights to come.

Image for Activity


My impression of this piece: Being a 5th grader that kid was, he did a good poem for a girl he liked. and I think that's cute that way he wrote it. I've never had a boy write a poem like that but I did had crushes while growing up. I could relate to the poem.


Grammar and Spelling: None


What I really liked: This part I liked because he had to get enough courage to go up to a girl, who he liked and let her know how he felt. according to what I was reading, he was struggling with his own emotions about the girl. I'm sure he was really shy but he did it and he told her. I hope years later he remembers what he wrote.

When I got to her desk
She flipped her hair back and said, “Hi”
And then I poured out my feelings


Suggestions: Well, there is two things, you have to make the font at size 4 and center the poem, so people can see it and read it. I like the poem and I hope you get more readers to your port.


Final Thoughts / Side Notes: My thoughts on this is, you have a good poem from the boy, you may have known in school. The poem really made my day, when I read it. What I'm wondering now, what happened to the boy who wrote the poem? I'm glad you posted this poem and it was a good one, I think. I'm sure, the boy had a crush on the girl and I hope they are friends still.

I appreciate reading the poem
Thank you for sharing,
Beacon



Disclaimer:
The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4746763