Review of Prodigal 2424

Search where?

This Portfolio (kingscastle1)

All of Writing.Com

Create New Item

Read & Review

Community

Browse By Type

Browse By Genre

Writing Resources

Friday, May. 10, 2024

5:40am EDT

Members: 702

Guests: 1,109

Total Online: 1,811

SPONSORED ITEMS

The Writer's Cramp

Write the best story or poem in 24 hours or less and win 10K GPs!

Central International Airport

An airport with destinations and new beginnings. Take a trip.

How to Write a Query Letter

A list of do's and don'ts of query letter writing along with examples.

Promoting Your Portfolio URL

My column with tips on promoting your Public Portfolio URL!

READ A NEWBIE

Searing Silence

A poem about hating the feeling of anger & wishing you could rid yourself of it forever

Priest of War

a wip dark fantasy novel, surrounding the coordination of a new Warpriest into the Church.

Love for poetry

This poem explores the longing to be more than poet, but to be the essence of poetry itself

Decoding Decisions:

(How people decide what to buy is hidden in the 'complex world' of the buying journey)

BY ONLINE AUTHORS

The Nymph

About a beautiful woman I saw on my wedding day, and could never forget.

What slave are you?

Choose what slave you want to be

Hopes Key

Unlocking Wonderland

But We Live On

Our ending and beginning are all within ourselves.

Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/4747934

Review #4747934

Viewing a review of:

Prodigal 2424

[E]
Two astronauts visit their old home.
by KingsSideCastle

Only reviews from the past
14 days may be credited.

#4747934

Review of Prodigal 2424

Review by Lornda

In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group

Rated: E

| (4.0)

Access: Public | Hide Review (?)

"Game of Thrones"

The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise.

Hello, KingsSideCastle

I found your story at the "The Writer's Cramp"

! I could tell by the title it was a sci-fi, and it was nice to see it paired with the genre nature—it made for an interesting story. I thought the conversation between the two astronauts was done well to hook a reader in to find out more. I liked how it worked into talking about earth and it ended in a natural way.

As far as the feedback goes, I have a few suggestions for your consideration. It's totally up to you if you want to edit anything.

I thought a few of the descriptions could have been expanded a little more especially with their surroundings. There are some typos to fix:

Needs a period. The two astronauts surveyed the landscape[.]

...enough warning sighs. [signs]

"Perhap ..." [Perhaps]

They astronauts boarded... [The]

Check in other places for some typos. It always helps to read it out loud.

Overall, I thought it was a fun sci-fi/nature story to read. As I mentioned, the dialog was done well, and I liked the humorous approach to the bantering between these two astronauts. It was a creative concept for the prompt of Earth Day. My favorite part has to be the way it ended. Kind of sad, but true.

It was nice to visit you today!