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 Review #4748161 |
 |  | Chasm  [E] A hiker finds herself at rock bottom.  |
| (4.5)| Hi KingsSideCastle , This review was written on behalf of House Targaryen as part of "Game of Thrones" ! Disclaimer The views and opinions on this review are mainly the things discovered by the reader and therefore, do not reflect necessarily to the group, activity and/or event being affiliated herein. This is only the opinion and suggestions of the reviewer and it is still up to the author of this piece to consider this review as a corrective action or otherwise. What I liked ... The suspense of not knowing whether Alexis would make it out of the chasm or not.  As I began to read this story, I found myself worried for Alexis. When she falls into the chasm, I could feel her fear. She thought she would die in there. I would have beed scared of that, too, but I would also have been frightened of the spiders that could climb all over me. I liked how Alexis gave up. She thought she had fractured her leg, after all. How could she possibly climb out of the hole? So she gave up. And I can understand that. However, she began to hallucinate, and from that hallucination, she found the strength (mentally and physically) to climb out. Alexis's mother is so important in this story. She appears and sets her daughter back on the right path. She reminds Alexis of how much she has accomplished in the past, and tells her she can get out of there. She acted exactly as mothers are supposed to act. She even got tough with her daughter to push her into making the climb. I really liked that. But I did wonder whether Alexis was really hallucinating, or if these were actual spirits visiting her. The suspense you create in this story is great. The whole way through, we wonder whether Alexis will get out. Whether she will die. You hold our suspense right until the brilliant ending, where we see her climb to safety.Suggestions: I have a few grammatical suggestions and typos. I have put them in this dropnote, so you may read them as you wish. Or not. Grammar Suggestions / Typos ▼ Parting comments: This is an enjoyable story. It has been good to read your writing. Thanks for sharing. Choconut   My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
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