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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/newsletters/action/archives/id/12277-Morning-Mantras-and-Other-Useless-Things.html
Comedy: November 15, 2023 Issue [#12277]




 This week: Morning Mantras and Other Useless Things
  Edited by: GeminiGem survived GoT
                             More Newsletters By This Editor  

Table of Contents

1. About this Newsletter
2. A Word from our Sponsor
3. Letter from the Editor
4. Editor's Picks
5. A Word from Writing.Com
6. Ask & Answer
7. Removal instructions

About This Newsletter

Oh, look. Another glorious morning. It makes me sick!
~Bette Midler as Winifred Sanderson in the movie Hocus Pocus

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Hello! I am GeminiGem survived GoT, a regular editor of the Comedy Newsletter. Let's talk about getting it together to face the morning routine.


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Letter from the editor

Morning Mantras and Other Useless Things
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As I was commuting to work this morning, this random thing kept floating around my brain:

         I begin each morning with clean glasses and moisturized hands,
         in hopes the Universe will be kind to me today.


I'm not a poet, and my brain doesn't think like a poet. That's my brother Mark's job. Where was this coming from, then? I certainly wasn't feeling hopeful, despite the upbeat tone of this bit of brain-poetry. I was tired, uncaffeinated, and everything hurt from sleeping in some unapproved position. If you are young and have never gone to bed at night feeling okay and then woke up the next morning injured, just know your time is coming. You have been warned.

I am beginning to understand why elderly people are often portrayed as grumpy, crabby, or just unpleasant to be around. This understanding comes as I have entered my sixth decade and feel grumpy, crabby or don't want to be pleasant around people. We are living longer and longer, but our minds and bodies struggle to keep up.

In the haze of mild pain and fatigue this morning, that line of poetry kept floating around, keeping me from the delights of wallowing in misery. My brain had no business being that optimistic so early in the morning. The mental audacity!

Okay, okay, I suppose there could be comfort in routine or starting fresh each morning. There may even be some comfort in having a good attitude.

To that I say, "Hmphf."

There is more comfort in strong caffeine and a nice dose of ibuprofen.


Editor's Picks

 
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23 Cows Are Missing  (E)
Where can they be? They fled from the family!
#2303782 by intuey GoT Survivor!

STATIC
The Pain Of Thanksgiving  (13+)
You ever had one of those days?
#766818 by W.D.Wilcox

 Screaming Witch  (ASR)
Leah, why was she screaming? Bridget investigate in this scene
#2295008 by Scarypotato-doing bettertoday

 
STATIC
Overnight Snack  (E)
Quills Nominee and Finalist 2023 The Writer's Cramp 7/19/23 W/C 833
#2300064 by QueenNormaJeanGreeneggs&vegham

 
STATIC
Staremaster  (E)
There should be balance in life; a purpose for exercising = coffee + unlimited donuts.
#1931881 by foxtale


FORUM
The Humorous Poetry Contest  (18+)
The contest where the rating doesn't matter! ~ May 2024 - Round Open~
#1875093 by Lornda

STATIC
Contest Clues  (E)
List of WdC Writing Contests, Challenges, Activities. Clues To What's Open, What's Closed!
#2221492 by GeminiGem survived GoT


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Pro Tip!
If you write something that has humor in it, make sure you use "comedy" as one of your genres. You might find your writing highlighted in a future Comedy Newsletter.

 
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Ask & Answer

Comments from my last Comedy Newsletter "Autocorrect Hates Me


From Vivian
Oh, my, I never thought someone would be as affeccted by autocorrect as I am, but you beat me by far. I hate autocorrect. For every time it helps, it makes things worse ten times more, and often makes no sense.

From Elfin Dragon-finally published
Yep, so over Autocorrect! Though I've found it happens more often if you're using the "speak" or "mic" aspect on your phone. For some reason it seems to hear what it wants to. LOL *Smile*


NEWSFEED FEEDBACK from "Autocorrect Hates Me, where I posed this question:
What funny thing has autocorrect done to something you have typed?


Joy

You hit a nerve with that question. Just a while ago, it changed drink to drought.
I think it is Ai creating havoc everywhere nowadays as the autocorrect that I could barely deal with, in MS Word, has sneaked in worse forms into just about everything. It even messes up my personal emails, messages, and even the chat in FB. Even after I look my note over and hit send, I find it has changed the wording. I hope someone can take note and make it like what we have here in WdC, where the zigzagging red lines show up under a word but do not correct it automatically.

s

I turned autocorret off a while ago. It was playing havoc with my fantasy stories. But when I went to a new phone earlier this year I forgot... and WdC became Wicca.

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