This week: Preach what you don't practice Edited by: THANKFUL SONALI Now What?  
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They say "An ounce of practice is worth more than tons of preaching. ..."
But what happens when you've missed out on the 'ounce' and faced the consequences? Wouldn't it help to talk about it? |
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Dear Reader,
My friend's son doesn't smoke.
What's the big deal, you ask - lots of people don't smoke!
Ah, but this one is a bit different. His Dad is a smoker. So he's had a role-model who smokes from a tender age.
How, then, has he managed to stay strictly off cigarettes?
It was thanks to his Dad, he says. When he was old enough to understand, he questioned his Dad about the habit. "Why do you smoke when you know it's bad for you?"
His Dad didn't brush him off. He didn't try to justify himself. Instead, he sat the little boy down and admitted to have made a mistake he was finding it difficult to reverse. He leveled with his child about the problems that smoking was causing him, and how hard he had tried to stop and been unable to.
This had a huge impact on the boy. He has never touched a cigarette. He has two daughters of his own now, and they don't smoke, either. The family is close knit, and grandparents and parents level with children.
I'm single.
This is partly by choice and partly by circumstance. (I've had a broken engagement, decades ago.)
On the outside, it looks hunky-dory. I'm a free bird. I have no responsibilities. I can do what I like.
Mostly, this is true. I am happy with my life as it is, I don't want to change it.
However, there are times when I feel lonely. There are times when I regret saying 'no' to a guy who asked me out. There are times when I wish I'd had more romantic relationships. Sometimes, the 'what ifs' buzz around in my head.
There's a girl I taught when she was in Grade 6. She calls her own Mom by the word for 'Mom' in her native tongue, and calls me 'Mommy'. She's all grown up now, a senior coder in a big company, and I'm proud of her.
I'm also honoured that she looks up to me as a role model.
One of the things she was going to imitate was my singlehood.
I had a heart-to-heart chat with her about my regrets. I told her not to go by what she thought was great about my life, not to repeat the mistakes I'd made. ('Make your own mistakes!'  I remember quipping, to lighten the rather intense talk.)
Basically, I told her to follow her heart.
She did. She's had a couple of relationships since then, one of which had gotten quite serious before it broke. As far as I can understand, she doesn't regret either of these as much as she would've regretted letting the guys go. Anyway, I'm glad I had the talk with her.
No human being is perfect. We make our mistakes, we have our regrets. What we can do is to stop these mistakes from becoming the template others live by. If we're blessed enough to influence someone, let's preach what we didn't practice without holding back. Let's tell the truth -- I guess it's the least we can do.
Thanks for listening!
PS - For responses from some members of our community, click the note!
"Note: For: 'Spiritual' Newsletter, Feb 28
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Thank you for the responses to "Revisiting Friendships" !
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Spiritual: February 28, 2024 Issue [#12430]
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