  Short Stories
This week: Eons ago, in a dark cavern in the sea... Edited by: Legerdemain  
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Eons ago, in a dark cavern in the sea...
How important is a setting to your story? Very. To create a believable character, your story needs to reside in a believable setting. First decide the scope of your story. Do you need to create a new world, social system and method of communication? Or do you merely need a forest floor with twittering birds in the tree canopy. A science fiction story may need more scope and description than a Victorian romance story. As a writer, you need "facts" to create belief. If you're creating a larger image for your reader, be sure you stay true to the world you create. If the world is airless, your character can't whip off his breathing apparatus in chapter three and talk to native species.
If your damsel in the Victorian era needs to get from point A to point B, she certainly can't leap on a motorcycle and buzz over to the neighbor. If you're writing about a past era, know the world as those living in it did. Know the damsel couldn't go without an escort, what method of transport would be available to her and her proper manners of introduction upon arrival. Understand her world and write your plot within that envelope of belief. While each detail isn't essential to moving a plot along, you need these details to place your character in a proper setting.
Finally, as a writer you need to know all the details, your reader does not. Dumping a truckload of details on your reader will not only distract them from the story line, it will bore them to death. The last thing a reader wants to plod through is four paragraphs on the construction details of a crinoline. As a writer, you need to know how a Victorian character managed to sit down on all that fluff. So when editing, keep the details necessary to the plot and eliminate the distracting points, to create a believable picture in your reader's mind.
This month's question: Have you ever been distracted by a bad detail in a story?
Send in your reply below - editors love feedback! |
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Excerpt: “Well, now you’ll have to wait," said the master grumpily. "You don't want supper to get cold, do you?" The master's name was Mr. Forsythe, and he was the school’s art teacher. The boys called him Paint Brush behind his back, not just because of his job, but because he was tall and thin, and his bristly hair stood up on end when he took his hat off.
Excerpt: Ned made inquiries as to who were the best contacts. We had heard of the Pre-Raphaelites, naturally. Ned considered them very daring; he’d have given his eyes to sign up on the membership list. I remember seeing this exquisite set of watercolours; all knights and fair ladies, borrowed from the Camelot legends. I asked who they were by and here came the tingling reply: “Dante Gabriel Rossetti.”
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Excerpt: It was a few days ago that the Department of Transportation agent paid a visit to the next-door’s daughter on her sixteenth birthday. He could remember the sheer joy that the coming of age brought her. The fastrans units made it possible for one to get to and from work, school, shopping or anywhere quickly and efficiently. Fastrans solved all of the problems that were present with The Ancients’ archaic system known as Transit. It was the year After Townes-80 and such obsolete forms of transportation had long been abolished in favour of the fastrans network. The only thing Franklin knew about the Transit system was from history books and museums.
Excerpt: She wanted a cuddly, tan, tail-wiggling bundle of joy, and she wanted it right now! But she decided just maybe she could wait till her 10th birthday, which would arrive in only three weeks. A puppy would be the absolute best gift ever, and surely there would be no problems. Mildred’s family lived on a sizeable property in Kensington, with large front and rear yards, and a three-story stone home.
Excerpt: With no hope of recharging, my battery will drain in 3,000 milliseconds. The three seconds to humans are mere jumps on a number line. For me, I savor every byte. Robots are supposed to live forever, but my Creator doesn’t need me anymore.
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Excerpt: When I peeked into baby Jemima’s face, I expected to see that newborn baby look. Sweet, innocent, and pink. However, the face that I saw wrapped up tightly in a blanket was nothing of the sort. It was clearly to me the face of an adult, and moreover, one that was strangely familiar to me.
Excerpt: “Commander, there seems to be a problem”
This blunt statement interrupted my pleasant reverie of last night's entertainment. “Joe? We've been on this crate together for your entire adult life, can't you relax the formality just a little? My name is Sam.”
Excerpt: Once, in the distant past, there was a Robot World on a planet deep in the galaxy. The creators of the robots were stricken by a plague but before they died they put their bodies into a suspended state and sent an SOS to their home planet, a hundred light years away. They received a reply that help was on the way but not to expect it for a thousand years. The reverted to a state of suspended animation and to maintain their bodies for such a long period, they created a robot factory. In this factory the mature robots made new robots, as well as life globes. A life globe was constructed of an aluminum base for conductivity, some wires for routing the current and a fine tungsten filament which glowed brightly with life force, once it was activated by energy.
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Excerpt: And then it hit me. I just had to go to one of Briana’s far-off planets. I had to learn to speak Alien.
Excerpt: At any rate, I had taken my first leave from Luna deployment after 3 years there setting up the first base and had returned to Earth for a holiday and visit with my parents in Los Angeles. It didn’t take me long to realize that I had become a Loony for sure. The pollution, mass of people on Earth and the NOISE that assailed my ears from the cell phones people used, personal music players with songs that sounded like jungle drums instead of music and the din of cars, trains and jets was just too much.
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This month's question: Have you ever been distracted by a bad detail in a story?
Send in your reply below - editors love feedback!
Last month's question: What interesting characteristic, accent or face have you used in a character that you first saw in person ?
fyn  responds: It is hard for me to pin-point a specific occasion because I do it ALL the time. Sometimes when I 'get stuck' I go people watch...real time research so to speak. Usually doesn't take much time either at a fast food restaurant, the bar or a mall to find exactly what I'm looking for! Great newsie; super example!!
DRSmith  answers: an interesting newsie with respect to picking up isolated characteristics that seem to follow one through life. Like you've suggested, I made one up and used as such in a published novella where a key character, a WWII recruit was of "old country" Italian and Catholic descent from "New Joisey" who often said "Dominicks for biscuits" (in lieu catholic latin, Dominus vosbiscum) when wanting to emphasize "closure". Oddly enough, on occasion today, I hear the wife or a golf, tavern, or Amer. Legion buddy saying it which not only tells me they've read the story, but, like your example, took something out of it that stuck. In a way, I suppose it's what we all strive to accomplish in our efforts, eh?
Ian Benke  replies: So I've spent the last few years writing a novel. Almost every character in some way is based off a real person. I dated a girl once whose mother was absolutely vile, very loud, opinionated, ignorant and judgmental. Years after we broke up I wrote her mother into my novel, only for a couple scenes, but she really fit the role.
LJPC - the tortoise submits: Thanks for the great newsletter. I often have trouble finding interesting mannerisms for characters and I think you're absolutely right -- I have to spend more time people-watching!  -- Laura
Fi sends: I haven't used this characteristic in a story yet, – I don't know if I can, – but I hope I shall someday.
I have a friend who can laugh at anything, anytime, anywhere. Her sense of humour is amazing, wonderful – give her a word and she'll make a joke out of it, give her a situation and she'll make a joke out of it, mock her and she'll laugh too! She continuously fascinates me. She loves work, loves baking, loves kids and she's a magnet for them, too! It is incredible. She always makes me feel better when I'm feeling down. And she laughs in such a nice and funny way, not obnoxious or loud. She's the closest to perfect I've ever met. Isn't that interesting, how the person who laughs the most is the one everyone loves?
A quote of hers: He who learns to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
Very true.
Will Dee comments: I agree on your piece about "What a character". I wrote about a baby bird that had human characteristic. It was fun thinking like a bird but expressing my feeling terms of a human. |
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Short Stories: February 16, 2011 Issue [#4242]
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