  Romance/Love
This week: Romance or Drama Part 2 Edited by: Aennaytte: Free & Wild in GoT  
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Romance or Drama Part 2
In my July Romance/Love Newsletter, I asked, "Readers and writers of romance, what are your expectations when you think about a romantic story? Should it be mainly romantic and make you feel good in the end? Or are you okay with reading a romantic story where there is death and maiming?"
Not only the amount of responses I got, but also what the responses said was absolutely amazing to me. My question kicked off a deluge of answers that we can only have here, on Writing.Com. Not only are we writers, we are also readers. So, for all romance writers who have wondered about the same thing, please check out the answers below in the Ask&Answer area.
Not a very representative poll at this time, but still showing a tendency, there is also the poll that I started in conjunction with this question.
[Linked Poll's access is restricted.]
What I take away from this interaction is that most romance readers favor romances with happy endings. It also seems many are okay with serious peril and hardship as long as the ending is still happy. Few readers are okay with romance being more gritty. I like what Dawn Embers  has to say about this. "There is a big different between a romance story and a story with romance in it." I think this sentence pretty much nails it. Readers who pick up a book expecting romance want that - exactly. Stories in other genres Horror, Dark, Death, etc. can have romance in them, but maybe they don't quite qualify as romance in the true sense.
Please take the time to read all the detailed and thoughtful responses I got to my last newsletter.
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Comments for my last Romance/Love newsletter "Romance or Drama" .
Dawn Embers wrote: I don't think you're off on this topic at all, because anyone who researches and actually tries to get published in the romance genre knows the requirements of the publishers and readers. The genre itself is somewhat particular about the romance focus and type of endings they prefer. When I judged for Spring Romance, I took that into mind too. There is a big different between a romance story and a story with romance in it.
As I mentioned above in the text, I believe you truly summed it up with your last sentence. It's so true that anything can have romance in it, but doesn't necessarily qualify as romance in itself.
Green Lee  wrote: I agree with you. Romances shouldn't be sad.
At least not ending sadly without any hope. I can deal with some sadness, but want it all fixed before the book/story is over.
Merry Mumsy  wrote: I completely agree with you . . . I get turned off by tragedy, horrors, etc in my romance. If I wanted tragedy or horrors I would pick up a different type of story. That being said, plot IS important, and it can make or break the story for me. Sooo . . . a lover thought dead at war who returns, scarred perhaps internally and externally, can still make for a breathtaking romance if done correctly. As you said - lovers overcoming odds to find (or rediscover) one another.
Yes, I agree. Overcoming odds, giving a real plot - that's the stuff I'm totally okay with (to a degree, or, as long as it doesn't offend me for some other reason).
TarynSloane ~ Writing wrote: I don't think you are plain at all for wanting a simple, fuzzy romantic story. I am the same way when it comes to romance. If I want horror, action, or high drama...I go to those sections. Sometimes I just need to get away and not think of anything heavy. A simple romance takes care of that every time! Taryn
It was that desire to read warm and fuzzy stories that I didn't get from the entries to my romance contest that made me wonder ... I'm glad I'm not the only one who wants romance to make me feel good instead of unhappy.
Elle - on hiatus wrote: I read a lot of romance and a happy ending is a must-have for me. If it doesn't have a happy ending, it's not a romance IMHO. The one and only time I read a 'romance' where the hero and heroine didn't end up together, I was bitterly disappointed and have never read another book by that author (not a WDC author!). Depending on my mood, sometimes I read traditional 'happy' romance, sometimes I read gritty military romance and sometimes I read paranormal romance. So it doesn't always have to be sweetness and light (although I do like those too), but it does HAVE to have a happy ending.
So funny, when I found out (spoiler alert) that in Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials the boy and the girl never get to meet up at the end, I never picked up any of his work again. Even just knowing that little bit ruined it for me. The boy and the girl were too young for a full-on romance, but not too young for feelings for each other.
dwarf2012 wrote: I don't want death or maiming or tragedy in my romance. I want romance sweet and dirty or difficult to obtain but worth it in the end. Be specific in your contest, like you did.
"Sweet and dirty," yes, yes, please write for me. 
ANN Counselor, Lesbian & Happy wrote: I welcome your opinion/review of my lesbian or gay romance stories. Yes, there is death in some, jealous violence in some. I'd rather just let them be sweet love stories, but reviewers frustratingly condemn any "short story" without a climax/problem/event. So when I write of a death, there is a beautiful romance ahead for the lead character of the story.
If one of the partners is dead, then that ruins it for me. If a couple meets after both losing a partner, that's different since I'm reading their romance and I'm rooting for them. I can even go for jealous violence (to a degree) in romance.
BIG BAD WOLF is hopping  wrote: Some people like a Necrophilia-type story, and others like a murder-type story. "A Different Red Riding Hood Story"
BBW, that's not romance. That's ... necromance?  Seriously though. If there is killing or strange things with dead people happening, that's not romantic. In my mind it isn't.
ChrisDaltro-Chasing Moonbeams  wrote: Thank you for featuring my poem: Something in your Romance/Love WDC Newsletter! "Something "
Christina Daltro
You're welcome! 
Raine wrote: Romance is about two people falling in love. Yes, there will be obstacles. No, there shouldn't be dead people (vampires not included). Drama, suspense, and mystery will have dead people, heinous crimes and the like. Not romance.
I really don't feel you're overreacting. You want HEA and got DOA instead. Not a palatable switch. I would have reacted the same way.
Thank you. I was wondering if my expectations were too far off.
dragonwoman wrote: I think every romance needs a little drama to develop well.
Drama is okay. As long as it leads to a conclusion that is happy. At least in romance.
Quiltingmama wrote: Hello, I write romance novels for a living and I don't like reading or writing romance where one partner is dead... it's depressing and I won't do it. I may put the poor people through the wringer, but I always leave the story with a warm fuzzy. But this is just me. 
I think that's why people read romance. To feel warm and fuzzy. So, death wouldn't work in the end.
Sara wrote: Romance used to have the format of the adventurous female and the dangerous male. I think there was the orphaned female which I have in my novel. She has to rise above her circumstances. Often the one male character seems to be the good guy, his problems disguised at first. The real hero is introduced with visible flaws. At the end their roles reverse much to our happy-ending-loving selves. This is the warm and fuzzy stuff I love and look for in a good read all day romance!
Yes. Adventure, action, love, fireworks. Just reading your comment made me see the perfect romance in my inner eye. Brilliant.
TessaT wrote: I don't think you are asking too much to keep things warm and fuzzy for a romance. I especially don't think it's too much to ask if you host a contest and specifically ask for certain things NOT to be included.
There are other genre's where these topics can be better served that could also include a romantic thread. I usually read a romance as an escape after reading several hard, gritty, serial homicides. I am wanting something lighter and the warm, fuzzy romance fills the bill (if it isn't too laden with death and mutilation). When did that become romantic? "Invalid Item"
Gritty homicides ... I wouldn't be found in that aisle to begin with. Not a critique of your taste. But I think because I'm not even a reader who'd seek out too much grit and gore in other genres, reading it in romance is even more jarring for me.
tj ~ endeavors to persevere!  wrote: I agree with you, romance should be just that, romantic, warm, fuzzy, and possibly arousing, but not to the point it becomes erotica. The problem is, many people don't understand chivalry and romance anymore.
Ah, the line between romance, erotica, and (the p-word) so hard for some to draw. I've got to say it's not that easy for me to separate erotica from romance. Adults in real life who are in love will naturally seek out sensuality. How descriptive a writer wants to be about that is also about style in my opinion. But I know that there are readers who really don't want to see what goes on behind closed doors once the couple has gone to bed.
Brooklyn  wrote: Hey, my response is too long to send the right way.  so I'm sending it here
Hey Giselle!
This is a really interesting topic and it made me sit and think about my response. I think it's not an easy answer honestly. Many people read romance for different reasons. I have a perfect example of a story that many people differ in opinion on though - Message in a Bottle by Nicholas Sparks. This contains several elements and I consider one of my all time favorite stories/movies. It's definitely romantic and makes me cry everytime I see the movie. (I admit I like the movie better than the book.) Anyway, it doesn't have an HEA ending which doesn't fit some people's idea of a true romance. However, is it more drama than romance? I don't think so. The entire story is an epic romance triangle between Garrett and the two women he loves. One just happens to be deceased. I guess in that respect I'd have to say I don't agree with you. I don't have to have a happy ending to enjoy a story - it just has to involve me emotionally and make me care about the characters involved. Thanks
for writing a really compelling editorial that made me think! Hope my response helps.
Brooke, your response make me want to watch/read Message in a Bottle to find out how that type of story works for me.
inkstainhands wrote: Great food for thought! I imagine a paranormal romance may involve one or both partners dead. The crime, I feel, is fine as long as there is a happy ending. I once read a book on writing romance that was adamant that a romance has a happy ending. Readers of this genre expect to feel good at the end of the story/book.
Paranormal romance is excluded from the "alive" requirement. Corpse Bride comes to mind, which is so sweet and cute that I loved it. I forgot the exact ending, but I think they found a way to fix the whole dead thing, so I have fond memories of it.
☮ The Grum Of Grums wrote: Hi Giselle. Look, I'm a 71 year old white middle class male - and I love romances that have a happy ending. I try to write some that way too. And my wife has recently got me hooked on Nora Roberts, particularly her earlier works. Feel good, escapist stuff certainly, but that's how I like it. And I think you do, too.
Now I've got read Nora Roberts. At least one. Unless it includes rich heiresses and a stable boy. That's not going to work for me.
Cassie Kat wrote: I think that there are different types of "romance", and while none of them are wrong definitions of the genre, it's easy for different people to define it in different ways. That's weird that so many people submitted stories to the contest where one of the lovers was deceased, and while it can make for a dramatic story, it was definitely not the kind of romance you had in mind!  however, if you are reading a romance story, then it MUST have a happy ending, even if a character doesn't live to see the end.
In all those stories, there was one romance that ended with a dead wife, but I still liked it. I think that one worked for me because the man in whose POV the story was had re-married and he told the story from a good point in his life. The others were just devastating in comparison. So, yes, there can be happy endings with death involved, but it's rare to pull it off.
Lady H wrote: Dear Giselle,
I can't stand romance books with sad middles or endings - it really does defeat the object of it being a romance in the first place. For me, its the same with romance films. When I put this opinion out there, normally I get shouted down. 'It's real life!' They say - 'Why would you prefer a soppy story that would never actually happen?' For me, a romance novel is all about escaping from real life. I get enough upsetting stories from the news every day, when I read a romance story I want to escape from this - just for a couple of days to believe in a real romance where everyone has a happy ending, when the guy gets the girl, and no one gets hurt, and everything is as it should be. Who cares if real life stories like this are rare? I think that anyone who picks up a romance book has a right to a happy, loving story (:
Sorry that this turned into a sort of rant!
Holly
Yes! My point exactly! "I get enough upsetting stories from the news every day, [...]." Why read romance if it's going to be the same as opening the newspaper?  That's why I really didn't want to read about people who got killed in accidents, murdered, or had to endure other extreme things. Some peril, drama, whatever - but gore doesn't make it romantic for me.
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Romance/Love: August 28, 2013 Issue [#5794]
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