  Comedy
This week: It's All Plastic, Now! Edited by: Sssssh! I'm not really here.  
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I know I can't be the only one who has these problems. Being a consumer these days is costly and what you buy is no where near as good as the items being replaced. |
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Happy 13th, Birthday, WDC and a big congratulations to our founders, SM and SMs. You guys rock out loud! It's also my 5th Anniversary, as an editor for the Comedy Newsletter
I remember when a washing machine and refrigerator would last fifteen to twenty years. We couldn't wait to get rid of them to buy an updated, appliance that came in a color other than white. However, back then, our huge arrays of colors consisted of avocado green or harvest gold. Yuck!
Recently, I had to replace my super, high-efficiency Bosch washing machine because its motherboard died on me. The repairman thought replacing the pump would do the trick, however, after two guys tried to replace the burnt-out pump with a new, expensive one, they found out that it still didn't work.
"Ma'am, you might as well replace this machine. Once the motherboard is fried, it ain't worth fixing. We'll give you a credit on the pump, though. "  Yeah, thanks for your wasted time; labor cost more than the stupid pump.
Wait a minute! There was a tax-free weekend coming up soon, in my state. That would be a great time to buy an appliance and really stick it to the Man! 
The weekend before the tax break, WL and I started looking around for normal, mechanically run washing machines, with no motherboard, no need for the "HE" type of detergent, and with the ability to have more than a quarter-cup of water to wash a full load of clothes. Yes, what we were looking for was my very first washing machine. It was made to do one thing--clean clothes! Already equipped with the knowledge that washing machines last between five and seven years, I was determined to pay the least amount of money I could, for the deepest tub capacity I could find.
There it was, at the back wall of the store, surrounded by all the glass, chrome and stainless steel models with windows on top or in the front to watch your clothes wash. Yeah, like after the first; well perhaps after the fifteenth time of sitting in front of those computer operated, low water, high efficiency, front load washers, it gets boring anyway and loses its charm. So why bother buying one at such a high cost and with a short life span, to boot?!!
WL and I pointed to the lonely machine at the back wall and said, "We'll be back to get it the following weekend when the tax break is in force."
"Well, little lady, there is no need to wait. You can buy this model today and have it delivered in the early part of the week. We'll just hold on to your check until next weekend before cashing it and you will get the tax break. Also, you won't have to come at a time when the store is crowded and deliveries will fall behind schedule." 
Sounded like a fair plan to me folks! And, they tow away the ton of scrap metal that used to be my old, top-of-the-line, Mercedes of washing machines for free. Really, folks, at that point, I didn't give a rodent's behind what they did with it or whom they sold that scrap to, for a profit. I had my fill of the machine that couldn't fill, would often spill and then shook its way to a space-aged junk yard.
My brand new, mechanical model, (that means you turn knobs rather than press a button-panel, to make it work) boring, yet always classical white; top-loading, fully functional agitator inside a deep tub, model washing machine, suits us just fine.
Don't be a sucker for the new-age varieties of appliances. They last no longer and need more repairs than the old versions. Which reminds me; the same repair man who tried but couldn't fix my washing machine, looked at my refrigerator when WL asked him why the temperature was off. The guy said that we needed to replace the thermostat because the coils were freezing-up and the fridge wasn't defrosting.
"So, how much will that cost?"
"Oh, I'd say about three-hundred dollars."
"Can I defrost it myself?"
"Sure, but you'll have to unplug it until the ice melts off the coils and have a cold place for the food in the meantime."Hmmmm, isn't that what we used to do with refrigerators, many years ago, folks?
I think I can live with that until the fall, when I turn-off the power and head back to Florida. I've got a deep freezer that I can use until then that will hold my frozen goods. And, it can make lots of ice to keep my refrigerated food cold in an ice chest, until the six-year-old, high-efficiency model, three-door French-style, stainless steel beauty of a refrigerator, thaws its sorry butt out!
When we return next spring, we'll be hunting for an old, heavy weight ponchy-looking, white fridge. I'm sure one or two of them still works and someone wants to get rid of it for today's ultra-modern models that are filled with plastic shelf-holders and meat and vegetable bins. Those parts start breaking after one year of use. Stainless steel wonders, my patootie! Do you know how messed-up they look when somebody and I'm not mentioning any names here, decided he would spruce-up the kitchen for me when my hip was corroded and painful; and thought a little scrubbing cleanser would do the trick? Yup, that's the guy. Sheesh, I knew I couldn't fool you, folks. 
Don't even make me get started on coffee-makers! They would last a year--maybe fifteen-months if I was lucky. About a year and a half ago, I got turned on to the simple way of making coffee. It's with a French Press. Voila! No timer, no buttons; no filters either! It's an amazingly simple thing. A word of caution, though, the glass carafes will break if you hit them against the faucet OR somebody pours boiling water into them. Again, no names need to be mentioned here. However, replacing them is cheaper than replacing the Cuisinart, Krups, Braun or ...
It's a wrap for this edition of the Comedy Newsletter.
Until next time--laugh hard, laugh often!
Ta,
Web~Witch |
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Marci Missing Everyone 
We have the same crazy bug whackers! My son and my husband are always trying to out-do each other. Last week, one of them fried a wasp until the house stunk with its cremated body! Ugh! LOL
 Yup, we've experienced that, too! Kind of smells like burnt hair. 
ded2daworld
It's a little known fact, but the shipping and handling cost you pay is equal to the actual cost of the company - total. Whatever price you pay is 100% profit. This doesn't even count the people that are "pushed" to buy extra stuff or accessories and that your name and address are sold to other companies.
Boy, do I know that, Ded! I've never actually ordered anything off the TV. I wait until they get released at the local CVS, or Wal-Mart. Then I could actually hold the item and see for myself if it would work. I got to tell you, the bug zapper really does work--and it's fun, too! 
drjim
Ah YES dear Webbie, the Whack A Skeeter Program has been incredibly self-sufficient...so much so I decided to cancel your tennis lessons seeing how well you pop those Frankenskeeters with that awesome backhand of yours! WOO HOO!!! Of course, the W-A-S Program has its drawbacks... such as when we attack a much LARGER bug that somehow has migrated into the house...and when 'fried', it gives off that distinct burning rubber smell that sticks around for a few minutes. UGGH. At least it clears out the nasal passages!! Seriously, a GREAT way to prove to others that all this FREE TIME ON YOUR HANDS is being applied to great use!!!
And we haven't had to change the batteries, yet! 
LJPC - the tortoise
Hi WW! I LOVE the idea of the bug zappers! I'd totally buy one if I saw them in the checkout line. Have a great time with your electrocution paddles!
~ Laura
It's been the highlight of my summer, Laura!
Shaara 
Only in the comedy newsletter could writing about mosquitoes be amusing. Good job.
It's those little things, Shaara, that make life amusing. Thank you!
brom21 
Man I hate infomercials. As you pointed out the main goal is to get you revved up and overcome with a deluge of reasons you must have it. Once you have it your like “Why did I buy this?” I personally do not buy anything from infomercials. You do find some things worth your buck every so often but my advice is to abstain from buying from those advertisements, especially the exercise machines ones. Most of them are so ridiculous.
That's true! Most of those infomercial products are sub-par. The one that sticks in my head was that, flat whisk, that could open to pick-up and egg, grab something from the skillet, etc. My mother bought each of us one of them--they were terrible! Hard to manipulate without contorting the hand and wrist. Oh, it does stir a can of paint that's been sitting a while, pretty good, though.
BIG BAD WOLF is hopping  Submits and item: "Take Your Son to Work"
Plenty to laugh at.
Can't argue with that!
Thank you for your feedback, folks. We editors really appreciate it!
See you in Spooktacular October!
WW
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Comedy: September 11, 2013 Issue [#5871]
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