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Ever get caught up in something your not so sure you can handle?
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| Waiting for the worst but hoping for the best. Not really wanting to see the outcome but I wait and watch. I sit there like a zombie not wanting to move. It comes around again and I start to grin and smile. I wash down the dryness with good ol' jack. Walking home I hope i dont look to obvious but not really caring, seeing in music and hearing the colors, I get home after what seems like hours. I walk past and try not to let my eyes show. I go up and sleep it off. Wake up and let mary come in, go to school and laugh at everything. Go home and visit mary again, go next door and chew on the plastic. Hours later after and no recollection I awake to sirens blaring and people over me people I have never seen before. I get admited and reality slaps me in the face as they walk in. I cant stand looking at them I turn my head and fill the bucket. wires, chords, and hoses coming out of my body, so many it seems like a maze to find my arm. Disconnected and walking like I have died. Hours later and a sleepless night full of thoughts and stomach contents, wake up and make the trip. Check into my home for the next few days. Still seeing in music and hearing the colors I stumble through the halls. To soon I fall from cloud nine and start to withdraw. One week and a shit load of shitty food later I walk out changed.........new.........sober. I walk out and start my life over, I have a second chance, Working the program I see the greatness. And then two weeks later the past catches up to me, the words ringing in my so clear it was like that day in my "temporary home". I think of mary again and instead I call him and he pulls me back from the ledge of relapse and I start to think. I start to wait for the worst but hope for the best, I find this time I want to see the outcome. So i spring into action. |
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