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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1174104-Fun-with-Sales-Calls
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #1174104
Something fun to do when a salesman calls.
I'm bored, I'm tired, I can't think at all right now. I'm trying to work but I keep getting side tracked. I answered the phone and some nutty guy is trying to sell me some insurance I don't need and can't afford. I have him on hold right now thinking that I'm looking something up, but I'm not. I'm just bored and it seems to give me a little humor having him listen to the same four chord, one line song I recorded on my phone system. The song is kind of like the first verse from the chorus of the Beach Boys "Good Vibrations" but with three words instead of two. I hope he likes it. Maybe it will brainwash him or something. Eleven minutes and he's still hanging on, I think I'll go grab some coffee.

Well, I'm back, got my coffee, cream, four equal tablets, sure is sweet! Sixteen minutes and this guy is still hanging on! Maybe I'll pick it up and tell him to hang on for a few more seconds, nah, I want to see how long he can last.

Thirty seven minutes! This guy is relentless! I wonder how he likes my song? He must know it by heart by now, it will be playing in his head for days.

I wonder how much this guy makes an hour holding a phone to his ear listening to my song because he just hit the 60 minute mark. I'm really impressed. I hang up if I'm on hold after a minute and a half. You would think this guy would have to go to the bathroom or something. Maybe he has one of those wireless systems?

Seventy six minutes! I just spent the last sixteen minutes playing darts in the other room and this guy is still listening to my song. He must really like it! I'm starting to feel a little guilty about this now. Yea, right (insert laughing sound here) This is getting to be a little like work trying to find things to do while this guy is on hold.

Ninety minutes! Amazing! Well I'm still a little bored and little tired. I'm going to pick it up. Yup! He's still there! Time to hang up now. (insert sound of line 2 being pushed without holding line 1).

I'm bored again. I think I need a nap. I hear the phone ringing again. I wonder if it's that same insurance guy? lets see. Nope, different guy trying to sell me a newspaper subscription. I put him on hold. I told him I'm blind so I don't have any use for a newspaper but my deaf friend does. He is on hold waiting for my friend to pick up. I wonder how long he will wait until he figures it out? I'm going to push speaker and say hello. This guy is yelling even though he thinks the person he is talking to is deaf. I hear him asking to talk to the blind guy again. I hope he likes my song.

Written by
S.S Wieczorek

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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1174104-Fun-with-Sales-Calls