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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1365743-Self-Made-Prison
Rated: E · Monologue · Emotional · #1365743
I was at work and hadn't written anything in a while. Kinda dark... it just came to me
You're trapped; and with every, movement every attempt at escape, you find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into your own self made chamber of despair. You don't want to breathe for the longer you live prolongs your own self suffering. The walls that you've built continue to close in on you because never again did you allow ayone to break them down. You'd cry but your eyes are too dry. You haven't lived for so long, that crying is no longer within you. "So why continue on?" you think. Why live if no one cares? Do you care? In the deppest recesses of your own self pity; do you care? Do you have any love for anyone... including yourself? Is there any reason for you to love, or is it just another pointless emotion that you have no time for?

Trapped are you; but of course. It was always you who held yourself back blaming others for your own transgressions never taking ownership of your own failurs. Quick to take the credit of triumphs created by your own means, and now what; trapped, lost, forgotten? Never forgotten. Everything that has transpired is remembered forever. You cannot escape you cannot run away. Escape what, escape whom? "You can't run from yourself, anywhere you go is where you are." So hate yourself, destroy yourself and continue to futilously try and escape yourself. No matter what you attempt to do you will never escape...

I shed a tear feeling sorry for myself. Constantly telling myself I am nothing. And in my own self despair I regress and slide deeper. Tired of running I've submitted, and allowed myself to be defeated... Not wlling to change the present, accept the past, or make a different furture. I stopped living long ago but unfortunetly to my own excrutiating dissapointment... I still exhist.
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