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Rated: ASR · Sample · Fantasy · #1371437
A sample from my WIP's First draft
Okay...just for your knowledge before you read and possibly, hopefully review....this is a first draft...I am not concerned at this time with grammatical errors....I would like opinions on whether or not this is going in the right direction...general-overall ideas about this....Thanks for reading!

The Disk of Lorpent

Prologue
They Return

         The rider stopped the horse, and squinted into the failing light of the quickly deepening night.  The soft spring breeze cooled the rider as it ruffled the nearby bushes.  For a moment, the bushes ruffled longer than the breeze blew.  The rider froze thinking that her ears and eyes were playing some nasty trick upon her mind.  Squinting harder into the dusky shadows, she saw the source of the rustling, a single pair of great yellow eyes peered at her from the shrubs.  The rider concentrated harder on the eyes, and then they vanished before her keen eyesight.  Before she had time to panic, a horrific streak of lightning spilt the purple sky of twilight.  Tamuril’s horse reared and tried to bolt in fright, but the girl held her steady.

         Stroking the horse’s midnight black mane she whispered soothingly, “Steady girl ‘tis only the storm of the new spring.”

         As the elf tried to console the mare, the enormous yellow eyes appeared once more, but this time they were much closer, close enough to touch, if she had stretched out her hand.  The eyes were staring with an unwavering gaze at the frightened pair.  Panicked thoughts whirled in her mind, but soon she heard the nearby river willow.  Listening to the tree’s wise words, Tamuril knew what she must do.

         Closing her blue eyes, she began to chant, “Wavum ronos sernuno!”

         Repeating the chant three times, she felt the protection of the forest wrapping her body, as she pulled up the mare and fled deeper into the forest shadows.  The mare needed no persuasion to carry her rider to the Elf King’s home.  The pair rode quickly leaving the great yellow eyes in their wake. 

         Tamuril rode into the depths of Sleathan Forest, and into her Father’s arms.  King Theophlin held his quavering daughter tightly to his chest, until her quaking eased. 

         “My daughter, what have you seen to frighten you so?  Please tell me,” King Theophlin insisted of Tamuril as her quickened breath slowed.

         Tears of anguish and terror streamed down her fair cheeks as Tamuril replied, “They have returned!  Our people, they are all in grave danger.”

         A look of udder terror rippled across the King’s face, “No!  It cannot be true!  Twas a nasty trick played upon your eyes!”

         “No, twas no trickery involved, Father.  We must call a council of Celtica’s Wise Ones of the different races.  The Norpauls will know what must be done,” Tamuril pressed.

         Theophlin agreed and sent for Thamas.  As the King’s son arrived at his sister’s side, he heard the story of Tamuril’s fright.  Thamas promised swiftness and sent for his stallion, Yerechin.  As the elven prince mounted his steed, he offered Tamuril a wee bit of his usual glorious smile, then rode into the starlit night to spread the word of the council. 


Chapter 1
The Lonely Daughter

         The day dawned bright and clear, the warm sun had just risen over the peaks of the Eastern Mountain Ridges.  Its brilliant rays pierced the lingering shadows of the cold night.  The hour was still early, as the whole of Kilkenney Castle lay in dream-filled sleep, save one lone woman.  The early hour was of no concern for Ms. Edith Stoneson, the nanny of the castle, as she stormed into the kitchens looking for Cook.  Not finding Cook in the kitchens only intensified the Nanny’s growing agitation.  Calling for the cook several times and not receiving a reply led Ms. Stoneson down the hallway into the servant’s quarters, at the back of the castle.  She walked up to the Cook’s bedroom door and banged on it.

         “Get up!  Get up ye lazy cook!  The master of the castle is gone, but the girl stills needs to eat.  Ye can’t sleep in all day long,” yelled the infuriated Nanny.

         “Mwwumph!” was the Cook’s reply.

         Ms. Stoneson threw up her hands in disgust and shouted, “Ten minutes, then I expect ye in the kitchens where ye belong.”

         Turning briskly, Ms. Stoneson hurried up the back staircase toward the family’s bedrooms.  Stopping at Arvana’s bedroom door, she again banged her balled up fists on the solid oak door. 

         “Wake up!  Get up!  The day grows old,” shouted Ms. Stoneson’s shrill voice.

         “Okay!  Okay, I am up!  I’ll be down in a minute,” was the muffled reply from inside the room. 

         Arvana sat up and stretched as she began to wake herself up. Grimacing at the bright sunlight that invaded her room, she stood and walked to the eastern windows of her room.  Before the window stretched a fantastic view of the moors, the fresh green grasses, blowing in the spring breeze, the brilliant blue sky with its sprinkling of fluffy white clouds, and the blooming wildflowers of many colors, each view more spectacular than the next.  Arvana took a deep breath of the cool, crisp spring air as she stepped out onto the balcony.  Leaning into the white railing, she allowed her thoughts to wander.  As she turned her thoughts on her Father, Lord Kilkenney, she allowed her lips to turn into a rosy smile.  Mindlessly she toyed with her necklace, a long leather chain with a silver charm, of a Celtic type, on the end, suddenly realizing that her minute had turned into ten, she turned to retreat back inside the castle walls.  Plundering through her trunks and chests, Arvana carefully chose her tunics and pants for the day.  As she changed from her pajamas, she heard Ms. Stoneson again thumping toward her door. 

         “Hurry up now!  Breakfast is waiting!  Your minute is longer than any minute I have ever had the luxury of having.  Ye mustn’t forget the chores,” ordered the Nanny’s annoying voice.

         Oh, why can that woman not leave me alone, thought Arvana as she replied, “Go on down!  I am right behind you, my Lady.”

         Satisfied once more, the retreating Nanny’s footfalls, lead down the steps, and sighing Arvana pulled her coarse cotton tunic over her curly red hair.  Tossing her pajamas on the unmade bed, she spun on her heel and headed toward the kitchens. 

         Once she went into the kitchens, her violet eyes surveyed the room for any sign of Ms. Stoneson.  Seeing no sign of her was a delight to the girl, Arvana quickly grabbed a piece of bread and slice of cheese from the nearby cheeseboard.  Turning to the cook who bent over a large black pot at the fireplace, Arvana offered her a somewhat guilty grin. 

Cook turned her head and shook it at Arvana.  “Hurry girl, Ms. Stoneson is on the warpath this morning.  She is but in the parlor.  Outside with you, she’ll be back any moment now.” 

Nodding her agreement as she ran out of the back door and into the gardens, Arvana gasped as the chill air hit her, wishing almost instantly she had thought to grab her traveling cloak.  Wrapping her arms about her shoulders, she remembered that she had stashed a second cloak in the stables for her to use when she rode the horses.  Making up her mind, she turned and headed toward the stables. 
As she approached the stables, a familiar head peered out of the windows.  The shiny brown head of Arvana’s horse, Edain greeted her with a whinny. 

“Hello, there beautiful!  Father has left again, last week, or is it two, but at least I still have you.  I have so much to tell you Edain,” Arvana muttered to the horse as stroked her smooth brown head. 

Arvana continued to talk to the horse, while she combed the horse’s mane and brushed her coat of sleek brown hair.  Getting the horse groomed easily, Arvana turned to toss a blanket across the broad back of the sweet tempered horse.  Leading Edain over to a low-slung rail and mounted, Arvana noticed her cheeks

were wet, with tears. 
“I haven’t any friends, Edain.  I wish Father would let me go to school like a normal girl.  I should be starting the Academie this autumn, but I doubt he lets me.  I always hear, ‘You have fine tutors, Arvana.  Ms. Stoneson knows her teachings quite well.  You’ll be fine.’ But I’m not fine; I want friends, real friends.”  The horse whinnied loudly in protest to Arvana’s words.  “Oh, Edain, I didn’t mean it like that.  I love your companionship, but I would love to have human friends, too,” Arvana
corrected as tears followed freely.

The horse turned an inquisitive glance at her human rider in loving sympathy. 

Arriving at her favorite hiding place Arvana dismounted, and began to play her reed flute, a gift from her Father, from one of his adventures.  As she played the elven made flute her thoughts ran into her Father once more, and she sang,
“I want to have adventures like his.  I want to see beyond the stony walls of the village as he has.  I want to have stories like his.  I desire to find myself.  My spirit will not rest.  I desire to learn the truths of his stories for myself.  My spirit wants to roam, and travel into the unknown.  I will not quench it.  I want to experience it.  I want to have adventures like his.”

Feeling better as the beautiful song erupted from her flute, Arvana began to smile once more.  Peering into the sky, she noted that the day was growing late, so lunch would be waiting at the castle.  As she gathered her things, she heard Ms. Stoneson’s voice echoing about the hills shouting her name. 

Quickly mounting and galloping hard toward the castle walls, Arvana shouted, “I am here.  I’ll be right there!”

Arriving at the back gate, she slapped Edain on toward the stable, and headed into the kitchens via the servants entrance.

“There you are, child.  I have kept your lunch warm for you.  It is late for it, but you must eat,” the kindly Cook greeted her.

“I am sorry, Cook, but I have been on the moors at the south meadows.  I did not realize the hour was so late.  What time is it?  I am very hungry,” Arvana returned in a rush. 

Gently shaking her graying head, the Cook replied with a glowing smile, “It is nearly two o’clock.  I bet the meadows were beautiful this morning.  Will you be going back this afternoon?” 

Grinning broadly at the Cook’s kindness, Arvana shook her head,” I do not think it wise, my lady.  I am sure that Ms. Stoneson wouldn’t approve.”

“Oh!  I dare say not,” the cook teased with a sly smile.  “She was planning on going in to town to the market this afternoon.”

“Oh, how wonderful, Cook, perhaps she would take me with her?  I would love to go,” exclaimed the beaming princess.

“Hurry then, I think that if you meet her by the front gate in about, oh say fifteen minutes,” laughed the Cook.

Arvana shoved the last of her lunch into her mouth, and took off charging up the back staircase to change.  Arvana ran to her trunks and picked out her best dress, and then pulled the green velvet dress over her head.  Quickly lacing her dress boots to her feet, Arvana was ready to go.  Hastily yanking her brush through her hair and tying it back with brown leather wrap, as she ran back down the stairs. 

Once, in the marbled foyer Arvana saw Ms. Stoneson wearing her best hat, preparing to go out.  “Ms. Stoneson!  Ms. Stoneson!  Might I come with you, please!  I twill be no trouble!  Please, oh, please,” shouted the girl as she ran into the nanny at the door.

“Calm yourself, child!  Of course, ye may go; I wanted to buy ye a new dress.  Your Father left the notes to pay for it.  We are to get one before he comes home,” chided the Nanny. 

“Father is coming home!  When will that be, my Lady?  I miss him terribly when he is gone,” exclaimed Arvana, as the two headed out the door and down the front steps.

“Soon, child, Very soon, ‘tis hoped to be in the next week, maybe sooner,” soothed the older woman as they headed down the lane toward the grand gate of Kilkenney Castle. 

The two exited the grounds and headed toward the village centre.  Once they arrived, Ms. Stoneson headed into the bookstore, Quills and More.  Approaching the counter, Ms. Stoneson made her order and gathered her purchases, as Arvana stared around the eerie store.  She noticed a display of an odd assortment of different shaped packages, whose wrappings carried a mark of a five –pointed star wrapped in a circle.  Arvana had just reached out a curious hand to touch one of the packages, when Ms. Stoneson noticed her absence from her side.

“No! Arvana, do not touch those!  That is not a package you would want found on your person.  That mark is the pentacle, the mark of witchcraft.  Stay away from it, child, and stay away from those you see have it,” whispered the Nanny urgently, but quietly enough that they would not be overheard.

“Oh, really, I didn’t know,” the girl remarked as she dropped her hands back to her sides and walked away from the display, but her curiosity only steepened. 
Ms. Stoneson distrustfully watched the girl for a long moment, until she realized that the clerk was trying to get her attention.  Quickly walking back over to the front counter, she spent her time and attention, paying for her purchases.  Arvana noticed that Ms. Stoneson’s attention was now elsewhere, which drew her back toward the odd display.  Turning her eyes away from the display she scanned the store, and saw that no one was paying any attention to her, Arvana reached a somewhat timid hand out and grabbed the nearest packet, quickly stowing it into her traveling cloak, completely unnoticed by anyone.  Completely unnerved by what she had just done, Arvana walked hurriedly out of the store and into the dusty street of the market.  She dared not to take a chance of inspecting the package any closer until she had hidden safely away from Ms. Stoneson’s prying eyes.  Ms. Stoneson emerged from Quills and More moments later and led the way to the dress shop. 

Leading Arvana in, she turned to her,”Ye go on in there.  Try to find a nice dress for your Father.  I will be back in a moment’s time.  Take all the time ye need, but do not leave this store, until I have come back.”

Nodding in agreement, Arvana turned and headed into Lady Alice’s Tailoring Shoppe.  Upon entering the shop, she felt her breath leave her; the shop filled with every kind of dress imaginable, and in every shade of color known to her.  Drawn to a silken blue gown, Arvana walked deeper into the store.  Pulling the gown off its hanger Arvana held it to her body; she loved the feel and look of the dark blue silk.  Ms. Stoneson appeared as Arvana spun in front of the dressing room’s mirror. 

“That is a lovely dress, Arvana.  Ye look very beautiful in it, almost like the princess that ye are,” Ms. Stoneson offered with a warm smile to Arvana.

“It is beautiful, isn’t it?  Oh, Ms. Stoneson this is the gown I want!  Please may I have it?  I will take good care of it, I promise,” Arvana replied.

“Alright child, peace now, I will get ye the dress,” the Nanny grinned.

A smile a mile wide spread over Arvana’s young face.  Taking the wrapped package that contained her new dress tenderly in her arms Arvana left the store.  Ms. Stoneson led her to an outside table at the market’s only restaurant, Lady Gilgham’s Kitchen.  After telling the girl to stay and have a piece of dessert, Ms. Stoneson left to run more errands.  Arvana had little concern as she ordered a large slice of chocolate cake and a glass of ale.  The package, which was, still tucked inside her cloak, but she could not risk exposing it she might still be caught. 

Joyously munching on her snack Arvana hardly noticed the two people staring at her from across the patio. 

“It has to be!  Who else could it be?  That is Lord Kilkenney’s only daughter.  I am sure of it,” proclaimed a jolly brown haired boy. 

“I am not so sure, Dylan, but I don’t know who else it could be.  She does look a bit lonely though.  I say we go over and talk to her,” declared the bookish looking girl with Dylan.

“Okay, Willow I’m with you, let’s go,” Dylan agreed.

The two friends left their desserts unfinished and walked, somewhat nervously, toward Arvana.  Arvana finally noticed the two and offered them a friendly smile as they approached her table. 

“Hi!  My name is Willow O’Lackey and this is Dylan Gardner.  We just thought you looked a bit lonely and that we might offer company,” Willow said with a grin on her cocoa-colored face. 

“Hello, I’m Arvana Kilkenney…” gasps from Dylan interrupted her.  “So, you are

Lord Kilkenney’s daughter?”
A giggle escaped Arvana, “Yes I should hope so, or I am living in someone else’s home.  I would love your company!  I do not have many friends, well none really.  My Nanny and other private tutors are the only company that I have, so I have never been able to make friends or go to school like normal people.  I had hoped to go to the Academie this autumn, but I don’t think I’ll get to.”

Dylan stared open mouthed at Arvana then exclaimed, “Nanny and private tutors, wow!”

“Dylan, get a hold of yourself, man,” Willow, reprimanded the excited boy.

Arvana continued to giggle, “It is okay, really.  I know ‘tis a bit odd, but it’s my life.”
Willow was about to say something, but was cut off by Arvana,” I do not mean to be rude and interrupt but there is Ms. Stoneson, my Nanny, coming, I must go.  I do so want to get to know you better; perhaps you could come to Kilkenney Castle tomorrow afternoon?  I really want to be friends.  You will come won’t you?”

“Come, of course we will come.  Wild horses couldn’t keep me away, and I’ll drag Willow along for a good measure,” Dylan answered for the both of them.

Arvana saw Ms. Stoneson impatiently motioning her to come, “I really must go, but I look forward to seeing the both of you tomorrow after lunch.  I can’t wait to see you again!”

“Nor we you!  We’ll be there around two o’clock then,” Willow replied.

“Two would be great!  Well, bye then,” Arvana answered as she gathered her packages.

Arvana smiled all the way home, as they walked she told Ms. Stoneson of her guests for tomorrow.  Ms. Stoneson smiled and listened patiently at the young girl’s eagerness.  Once back at the castle Arvana showed her new dress to Cook, and she acted just as excited as Arvana about the new blue gown.  When Cook called for dinner, the three sat down to a delicious meal and an animated conversation.  Well, Cook and Ms. Stoneson carried on a conversation, but Arvana’s mind was on her meeting with the two people she met at Lady Gilgham’s Kitchen, while she stabbed at her roasted potatoes.  They will come tomorrow and maybe she could show them the horses or maybe the gardens, or maybe she will just show them everything.  She could scarcely wait until tomorrow afternoon. 
Later that night as Arvana got ready for bed her thoughts turned once more to the package still hidden in her cloak pocket.  She had been so excited about the possibility of friends that she had forgotten the little brown-papered package.  Not tonight, she thought, I am too tired; perhaps she could open it in the morning. This thought proceeded Arvana’s dreams, as she fell into a deep sleep.








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