Moving On

I wish you'd held onto me the way you held onto the temptation of non-existence
Death-thirsty eyes keen on escape,
With little resistance

Sorry the pills didn't help ease the pain,
The depression was not obliterated - it only seemed to gain
Sorry for the stress-induced lines across your forehead
And the wasted afternoons spent lying in bed
Sorry the doctor screwed up big time
Too bad he thought you would be just fine

A day here, a day there...
Do days really matter?
When all meaning in life seems to be shattered?

I wish we could erase family history
I wish that anguish, self-loathing, and helplessness were all just a mystery
I wish we could wash all the alcohol in the world down the drain
And then see if we still feel any pain
I wish the tears hadn't fallen so easily every night
And teenage angst stayed locked up in its cage,
Never putting up a fight

Still, after these words and strong opinions of mine keep growing,
And the affliction I've felt doesn't quit showing,
I am consistently stronger every day
I'm sorry you weren't here to stay,
But with every consequence comes a reward
I sleep each night, assured
That with your death came another life
And there's beauty in the breakdown.