Musings on Growing Up

Growing up



         Janie walked along the country road, kicking rocks as she went. She was deep in thought. Jennie had been her best friend all through school and they had just graduated in May. She didn’t know what had caused the rift, but she wasn’t imagining it. It was definitely there.

         It was just starting to sprinkle rain and she watched as each drop hit the dusty road and made tiny little splashes of dust and rain. She looked up at the billowing clouds and admired the beautiful rainbow. If I walk far enough, maybe I’ll find the end.

         It was 5:30 pm on a warm summer day in Atlanta. She just felt like being alone and trying to figure things out. It seemed like she had been in school forever and spent everyday with friends and that part of her life had come to an abrupt halt. Was she sad? Glad? Maybe a bit of both. She had walked around two miles down the dirt road and not seen anyone. There were two or three houses per mile, but not a soul outside.

         Janie stopped at a farm where there were three horses grazing behind the fence. She pulled a hand full of green grass and walked up to the fence. A beautiful paint walked up to the fence and put his head over. She handed him the grass and as he stood there eating it, she reached out and petted his head. The paint watched her with beautiful, huge eyes. He whinnied, but did not pull away. After he had eaten the grass, he rubbed his muzzle against her arm. It felt like the softest velvet. She stood and petted him and talked to him around twenty minutes, then continued her walk. Her whole life was changing and she was frightened. What would it feel like getting a job, or going to college, or even leaving home? She wasn’t sure she was ready, and guys, now that was really scary. She had started to date, but the boys were all so insistent. It was like a girl just didn’t have the right to say no anymore.

         It was probably because of the boys that Jennie was upset. She knew that she had a big crush on Phillip Evans and he had been following her around like a love sick puppy. She hadn’t done anything to encourage him, but that must be why Jennie is upset with her. She kicked another rock as she wondered how long she would stay mad this time.

         Whoever said that growing up was fun. Sometimes she wished she was still five years old and the center of her parent’s world. She never had to worry about anything back then.

         Janie really wanted to be treated like an adult, but wasn’t sure she wanted to act like one yet. Why was growing up so scary? Janie had long blonde hair and baby blue eyes. She was cute, with a full lips, small nose and large eyes ringed with the longest lashes. She knew she was pretty, but it would be nice to find a guy that was as interested in her feelings as the way she looked on the outside.

         I guess I just expect too much, she thought to herself. I can’t be a child and an adult both, but I’m not really sure which I want to be.

         The drops of rain had started to settle the dust. I don’t know how far I’ve walked, she thought. I’ll have to turn around soon. But she hadn’t solved any problems yet, so she continued to walk. Maybe I’m just taking things too seriously, she thought as she continued walking.

         Maybe I’ll call Jennie when I get home and try to talk to her. If I could just explain to her that it’s not my fault that Phil is more interested in me, than in her. I haven’t done anything to encourage him. Problems just didn’t seem this serious when I was a child. One good thing, it did make her see her parents differently. They must have felt the same as she did at this age, but they don’t seem to mind being adults, and they do try to understand me. How can I expect them to understand me, when I don’t understand myself? I guess I’m really lucky.  With that thought, she smiled and turned towards home. She knew growing up would be a big adventure and she decided it might be worth taking that path. She decided she was ready to take her first tentative steps in that direction.