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Rated: GC · Column · Comedy · #1722223
Top ten things vegetarians hate to hear and how to answer them. Funny story at the end.
Top ten things vegetarians hate to hear


Top ten things vegetarians hate to hear and how to answer them. This was inspired by a vegetarian lady she was out one evening when she was asked. “Do vegetarians suck dick?” This was extremely rude so I thought of some things to say to rude people.

(1) Do vegetarians suck dick?
This is just rude.
Answers: No I’m a Dyke.
No I only make love to vegetarians. (Carrots)
No we don’t suck we blow.

(2) What do you eat?
This is just stupid.
Answer: Food!

(3) But how do you get Protein?
Talk about ignorant.
Answer: The average male ejaculate has the same amount of protein as a pork chop. Want some swallow its good for you.

(4) Do you want some chicken?
Not as dumb as it sounds, health food cooking and some vegetarians bake with milk and eggs.
Answer: No it’s over the expiry date.

(5) Vegetarian food is boring.
How would they know, this is just stupid.
Answer, The average male ejaculate has the same amount of protein as a pork chop. Want some swallow its good for you. Does that sound boring?

(6) A fish is an animal.
Not as dumb as it sounds, a fish is an animal and some people only eat seafood and vegetables.
Answer, What is your point, I’m not a vegan. Did you really think we get our protein from male ejaculate?

(7) Is that why your so pale?
Really dumb.
Answer, No I’m a mime.

(8) Cows milk is breast milk.
Really dumb. First of all a cow has an utter.
Answer, So I’m into health food cooking or a vegetarian not a vegan. Did you really think we get our protein from male ejaculate?

(9) Your Hindu, Jewish or a Buddhist?
Quite Ignorant and Prejudice.
Answer, No I’m from Mars we eat vegetables to keep from turning green.

(10) Oh you are new age! Cool!
So stupid!
Answer, No I’m old age, it’s just new to me.

Health food cooking is not vegetarianism. (We eat meat and meat products.)
A vegetarian is not a vegan, a vegetarian may use or consume animal products, and vegans do not consume or use animal products.
First most religious beliefs have nothing to do with vegetarianism or vegans. Some religious beliefs say you do not harm or eat certain animals, (sacred animals), or consume specific cuts of meat. Vegetarianism was here before Christ and other daities.

Just a strange bit of trivia. The average male ejaculate has the same amount of protein as a pork chop.

I was in Shepherd Texas when I stopped in a truck stop to fuel up my rig. After I fueled up my truck and paid for the fuel, I returned to my truck via walking through the driver’s lounge. The truck drivers in the lounge were watching a show on sex advice and the announcer said, “The average male ejaculate has the same amount of protein as a pork chop.”

At which point I perked up and said, “No wonder my wife is so fat.”

The truck drivers laughed so hard they fell out of their seats. Don’t tell my wife!!!


By
Josehf Lloyd Murchison
© Copyright 2010 Josehf Lloyd Murchison (josehflm at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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