All the things

All the things I cannot say
I let decay
Within
For no one to see
I let them be.
To set them free
Would set me up,
Would invite what I wish not
To hear.
What I fear
Are the words said to my ear
Or behind my back.
The chances come and go.
I stay still,
I speak no ill,
Let others fill
The gaps in between,
So I remain serene,
Never to be seen.
Into the shade
I fade.
The sun burns holes
Into those
Who disclose
Too much of their souls.
In the dark
There is no love, no sorrow,
No yesterday or tomorrow.
There are no grand places,
No exciting spaces,
No edges to trip over.
When I do take a step too far
There they are,
Those who cry,
Those left behind.
I don’t mind
In that moment, that instant
But then, after some time
My crime,
Mine alone,
I see how I’ve betrayed,
How far I’ve strayed
From the promises I may have made
To those
Who never should have been
Let in,
Into my life, my heart.
My idiocy was never smart.
The way to stay together
Is not to be apart.
Alone I remain
For fear that once again
My so-called love might
Take flight
And I’ll have left behind
Open wounds and eyes blind,
Heavy hearts and a crazed mind.
So I let decay
The words I might want to say,
The glances I might seek
And let those I fancy get away
To save them from my claws
And myself be forgotten evermore
For to love and hurt I wish no more.