Numb mind

Numb mind
What is this feeling
I feel so disconnected from this feeling
I have felt it rarely in my life, so it seems.
I have known it very little
Now it torments me
My mind is drained of any desire
My mind is drained of desire
My mind is fooled
My mind is missing chemicals it got every day
Now
My diet, I am changing it
I am doing it to help my body heal
But in the three days of doing it
Two days have been numbing my mind
I am not strong
Yesterday I succumbed
And yet
Today I feel the same
What do I do
Is this even normal
What if I'm lacking nutrients. And now I'm starving my body more
But I need to heal
This is the way
But I'm not eating enough
Oh what to do
What do I do
Why am I so weak
Am I?
I'm slow, that's okay
Im.slow and weak, that's fucked
That's my perception
And I disempower myself with these thoughts
But my actions I fail to produce good from
Why is this my everyday
How can I change?
How can I do more?
What are the questions that will lead me to domore?
How can I be strong every day?
How can I be strong and do what I want, 80% of the time?
How can I be strong to learn?
How can I be strong to prepare my food?
How can I be strong to do the other things I was doing already, and stopped because of my health?
How can I break this break?
Move
Get air
Open the doors
Cook
Learn
How can I do this for months, the only way to actually do anything for worthwhile progress?
How can I keep going?
How can I be strong?
How can I be strong?
How can I do more in my day?