The Hobby

I thought I’d take up something new.
A hobby’s what I need.
All I do now is watch TV
and maybe sometimes read.

I’d like to have a hobby that
shows creativity.
You know I am the artist type.
Now just what could it be?

I thought that I could learn to draw
or take a painting class.
Or maybe something else instead,
like working with stained glass.

But nothing that I've ever tried
has worked out very well.
None of my efforts have looked good.
In fact, they looked like hell.

I thought I might try macramé.
That would be something new.
Nah, that was not my cup of tea.
No, that just wouldn’t do.

But then a thought popped in my head.
I had a great idea.
Where we live now there always are
a bunch of active deer.

Well, every now and then, you know,
I’d hear a big fat boom.
Yeah, one more deer was on the road
and there she met her doom.

That’s when I hurry there real fast
to where the critter lies.
I’ll hope it is a great big buck
‘cause that would be the prize.

Yeah, taxidermy's my new game,
a hobby I enjoy.
Just cut ‘em up and hang the hide,
just like a real stuffed toy.

Okay, okay, I will admit,
it’s not for everyone.
But I have found my joy in life.
I think it is great fun.

So now I scour every street
to find some recent fall.
I’m looking for the latest head
to hang up on my wall.

Yeah, cats and dogs and even birds,
you’ll find some squirrels too.
I pick them up and go to work
to make them look brand new.

So keep your eyes and ears alert;
don’t wander in a daze.
And when you cross a darkened street?
... be sure to look both ways.

Hey, everyone has to have a hobby.