Lowered Expectations

I used to have 0 boundaries when dealing with you.

You crossed the line multiple times, it's true.

Cold nights when I had the blues.

Wondering when the problems I had would yield clues?

You took too much till all of me was gone.

Then looked at me, as if I'm wrong.

For expressing the pain I felt.

I didn't get the closure I needed from you, girl.

Playin myself, like a love struck fool, yeah.............

Embarrassment taught my biggest lessons.

Preparing me for the world, & it's hard sessions,

Showing me how strong I needed to be.

Even when it seemed like all was lost.

I charged it to the game, an expensive cost.

These memories will never die.

But my will, it multiplies.

Beyond all the bile..............

The hatred & anger...........

The empty threats given towards me in angst...........

When I was placed in danger..........

The love is still intact.

Such a disappointment to even say it.

Foolish imagination to want that happily ever after, but knowing we'd never make it.

A conflicting feeling of being aware of what's right, whilst it feels so wrong.

Wanting it all to go away from my soul, so I remain strong.

Not faking my feelings, I'm letting them flow.

Worst advice I've ever gotten is to "Let it go."

Impactful moments will always be apart of you, no matter where it lands.

But it doesn't have to own you, I hope you understand.

So my expectations are lowered for the folks I bring into my life.

I don't want you to be the best for me, or even have to compromise.

I just need a person to be real, even if it hurts.

Got my head on a swivel, paying attention to all red flag alerts.

Can make it hard to build meaningful relationships when you've only seen negativity.

But when your faith is high, & your mindset is right, you can attract the right energy.

I say this not to complain.

I say this not to boast.

I say this to not hide from your pain.

To not let yourself drown when you reach the coast.

We've all been hurt.

Been let down; disappointed.

Our emotions from the situation were left disjointed.

But once the dust settles........the clouds clear.

That is when the sun shines down, & the truth, wisdom, & right folks for you appear.

- Maalik