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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/446322-Driving-Lessons
by Poppy
Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #446322
A Father teaches his teen-aged daughter how to drive.
Lord, I need help right now. My daughter, the one that is only 15, is going to drive this
$15,000.00 vehicle today for the first time, with ME in it. Now, I don't usually question
your wisdom, however, I do have a question for you.

When you designed us humans, I know you put in an automatic switch in every teenager so
that when they turn 13, the switch flips and my helpless, vulnerable, adorable
child turns into an instant know-it-all who knows more than every adult in the world.
We know you know best and all, but I sure could use some help here.


Help me, Lord, to be patient when she argues with everything I say, even if I am
telling her there is a stop sign ahead that she didn't see because she was fumbling
with the radio. I know you instill in each of us a certain amount of self-confidence
so we will be able to conquer the challenges in our life but
would you please turn her self-confidence down a couple of notches and raise
mine up a bit?


Help me to be very patient, understanding, tolerant, and please keep me from
literally choking her. Thank You. Amen.


OK, kid, the first rule is when I tell you to do something, DO NOT say, I
know even before I finish saying what I have to say.

See, you said, I know before I got through. Now, buckle up, put your
foot on the brake, turn the key in the ignition, put the vehicle in drive...
I know you know... I told you not to argue, just listen. I know you
aren't stupid. Stupid has nothing to do with this. You are just inexperienced,
thats all.

Me, I've got thirty years driving under my belt. What? How many tickets and wrecks
have I had? Well...the wrecks weren't my fault. And the tickets were...Oh, never mind,
we aren't focusing on me but on you.


Remember, when you back up, you must look carefully behind you, including looking past
the blind spots that every vehicle has. What are blind spots? Well, you
know...there are parts of the car that block your view when you are changing lanes, etc.

So, don't just count on your mirrors, always turn your head both ways and
look. Then, back up slowly. I don't care if it will mess up your hair
by turning your head both ways and looking backwards. Life is tough sometimes.


Ok, be sure to look both ways twice before you commit to pulling out onto the
road. Why? I said just listen and do it. One time, I looked right and thought it
was clear for me to pull out and zoom, a car flew past me on the right side as I
pulled onto the road. So, sometime we look and THINK it is clear when it
isn't.

I KNOW you haven't done that. Why am I making up dumb rules for you to
follow just because of my ignorance when I was young? Why am I punishing you just
because I didn't know what I was doing? Look, it is just safer to look twice
when you get ready to pull out or turn.

Now, start slowing down gradually when you approach a stopping point. You don't
want to jump on the brakes with both feet like a pogo stick when you stop.

Whoa ,what are you doing? Yeah, like that...don't stop like that. Why did you just
jump on the brake with both feet like jumping on a pogo stick? Warn me
before you decide to illustrate a point I am making, OK?

Turn around and drive us back to the house. I know we are just now at the gate,
however, I have decided to let your mother teach you to drive. Why? Well, lets
just say mothers are better at things like this.

Anthony G. Stowe (c) 2002
© Copyright 2002 Poppy (agstowe at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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