The First Time

THE FIRST TIME

We drove up the hill towards the college, which was lined with tall trees and purple flowers. Dad was playing Guns and Roses on the tape player and my head was getting sore. We passed over the cattle grid and through the entrance of the college. I peered out of the car window. It was just like I’d remembered it on the open day that I’d attended last year. The weather was bright and sunny, people were wandering around and the familiar wooden welcome sign swung back and forth in the breeze. But I didn’t have a feeling like this on the open day. I was excited then. But now a crushing weight sat on my chest and I felt sick. I didn’t want to be here. Take me back home to my bedroom, it feels safe there at least, even if it is a shitty room that I have to share with my sister.
“Well Jaynie, we’re here. Ye still excited?” said dad.
“Eh, sort of. How long are ye’s stayin fur?”
“Well we’ll get ye unpacked an maybe have a wander aboot”.
We drove into the car park and I quickly took out my hairbrush and pulled it through my hair. Cars packed full of suitcases, TV’s, computers, lamps, and cuddly toys surrounded us. I had a suitcase digging into the back of my head for the journey so it was a relief to get out of the car. People were milling around like ants and luggage was lying in piles all over the car park. A girl at the car next to us was shouting at her dad for dropping her makeup case, suitcases were being scraped over the ground and a harassed looking man was running around from family to family telling them where to go.
“Well will we go an get yer room keys?” said mum.
“Aye ok”.
We approached the harassed man and asked him where we had to go. He replied quickly, spitting in my face as he did so, then ran off to the next family. Dad shook his head then we made our way over to the accommodation office. A girl with dyed pink hair was standing at the entrance and gibbering to some people. Suddenly she started screaming and ran off down the hill, manically waving her arms around. Another screaming figure met her halfway and they embraced in the middle of the road. It kind of reminded me of the Chimpanzees I saw at the zoo on my eighth birthday. I felt quite threatened by their familiarity with each other and kept my head down. I didn’t know anyone and at that point I didn’t want to, not if they were all pink haired monkeys.
I could tell that the group of people she was talking to were in their second or third year. They were standing around with a superior air and taking great delight in telling people where to go or introducing themselves to the first years. Or they were running around screaming and hugging each other. I didn’t look at anyone and tried to look as inconspicuous as I could and, thank god, nobody approached me.
We waited in a queue for a few minutes then I approached the desk where a plump, smiling woman sat.
“Hi there! Have ye come ti pick up yer keys?” she said, beaming at me. Why was everyone so bloody happy? I admit that I was crazily excited about my first day at college last night and only had about three hours sleep. But now I was just scared and didn’t want to be happy.
“Yeah”, I said.
“Ok. Whit’s yer name?”
“Jayne Russell”.
I noticed another lady standing behind her and she was smiling at me too. I felt that I was maybe being a bit rude so I allowed myself one smile at her.
“Oh aye, like the filmstar? Well do ye know what she wiz most famous fur?”
Of course I bloody do, I only have people telling me every other day.
“No”, I replied.
She pointed to her chest and mouthed, ‘big boobs’. I looked at my dad and he was looking away in embarrassment. Mum was standing laughing and I just wanted to sink into the floor and die. But I couldn’t so I laughed awkwardly and that seemed to satisfy the woman who then went back to locating my keys.
“Ok, here they are. Gregor, he’s oor resident warden an a really nice man, he’ll be coming roond later ti make sure yer settled in. Enjoy yerself!”
I grabbed the keys out of her hand, kept my head low and ran out of the office.
“Well she wiz nice”, said mum.
I rolled my eyes at dad then we walked over to the white, square building next to the car park. My room number was twelve so we pushed through the double doors and went inside. Someone shoved past me with a big suitcase then apologised. The air was filled with shouting, laughing, crashing noises and music. Oh god, was it going to be this noisy all the time?
We followed the signs and walked along a dark corridor, passing brown door after brown door. We walked past my room three times without noticing but eventually we found it. The door looked like someone had been chewing on it and an old sticker was still on the door, probably from last year. It said ‘Weed rules man’, with a picture of a cannabis leaf underneath. At this point I was still an innocent seventeen year old and had kept clear of drugs, so far. I picked off the sticker then turned the key in the lock and pushed open the heavy door.
The room was smaller than I remembered from the open day and it was much less welcoming. I had a bed, a lopsided desk, a plastic chair, a small black lamp, a wardrobe and a small sink area. And the brown carpet had big black marks on it.
“Oh look you’ve got a sink!” said mum.
Great. Maybe I can drown myself in it later.
“Oh aye, well that’s good a suppose”, I said.
Dad pushed in behind me and made the room seem even smaller.
“Aye, it’s nice an bright in here”, he said whilst patting his stomach. “Am gettin quite hungry noo. Is there any cheese pieces left?”
“No, you ate them all on the way over”, said Mum.
“Fuck”
He sighed and then walked back into the corridor.
“Right lets go an get yer stuff then”, he said.
We walked back over to the car and spent the next thirty minutes emptying everything into my new room. Dad did what he does best and bossed us around. Mum and me did what we do best, and ignored him.