I've been a natural-born story-teller since I was yea big and could sit comfily on a tot's knee. Over the many, many years, I've constantly sharpened my inborn talent into a deadly point, like a cannibal's toenail! I've written countless books, most of which are kept in my dead parent's basement, although if you look really closely through all the bookstores in the world, you might find one of my 15 published novels and two published cat-poetry anthologies, under the pseudonyms Tarleton L. deGrade, Barry Watterson, and Morton Osmond Spiggins. Nowadays I am a largely spent force. I mostly tell tales to my three younger uncles.