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A terminal for all blogs coming in or going out. A view into my life. |
Started July 1st 2019 for contests, etc. as other blogs are filling up and have other purposes. ![]() ![]() I'm starting a new blog because
I'll be linking to
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I've started an appendix (I no longer have one personally) to keep track of my Space Cadet journals for Space Blog. It's a work constantly under construction. Mind the mess.
I needed to start a folder for contests as there are so many deadlines and details to remember.
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Halfways through the year. (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand written journal) = jour. (contests) = test. (Senior Center) = SCtr. (Market) = mark. (Coffee shops) = cafe. This week's to-do list. Get vaxx validated on my card (didn't have it with me). Pre-pack clothes and everything except what I'm using. Decide on gifts. Chrome book. Phone. ![]() Talk with Pan about dates and plans. Wash clothes on Sunday. Pay rent. Arrange trip to airport (or bus). Recheck reservation. (seats, name) Print out trip. Say goodbyes and inform neighbors. Card for Michael. Make some long-term plans that can be changed. Contact bank. Check activity. State plans. 23 กันยายน 2566 = 23 september 2023 22 กันยายน 2566 = 22 september 2023 21 กันยายน 2566 = 21 september 2023 Thursday is an orange day, a day I buy Pan a rose. ![]() ![]() This is the song from the 90s they use. I sent it to Pan. Pan was sick for 3 days... I told him I wished I could've been there to hold him. 20 กันยายน 2566 = 20 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Finished puzzle... all 998/1000 pieces. I needed a distraction. 19 กันยายน 2566 = 19 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Neva: "My sleeping cycles are disturbing. I slept (rested) for 6 hours last night. When I'm back in Thailand I may try to adjust to sleep 6 hours (00:00 - 06:00) and nap for two in the afternoon. Side note: I worry too much." To Grace: "Oh... to de-clutter... ![]() Supper tonight was a can of ravioli; I skipped lunch. Later: "sinful" melon and cottage cheese. My team (Buffalo) won but I've been too stressed out to care. My high-school and college almaters are both 3-0. As are the Montana Griz. A 5-0 weekend that probably won't repeat itself. Frost already in some rural areas. Overall it's been pleasant." To NormaJean: "I don't have any oomph and my Muse is on vacation. Doubt I'll participate [in Octoprep or NaNoWriMo] this year. Hope cheerleading goes well as it's a lot of work." 18 กันยายน 2566 = 18 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Joy: "The local locusts shy away from autumn. Yellow leaflets litter the lawns. The Equinox beckons but keeps everything in a balance, incuding us. Thailand has seasons too; but, they are more subtle. Each flower, frog and forest responds to the sun and rain." To Mouse: "I am very talkative. People find me 1. annoying, 2. enthusing/motivating, 3. amusing. I draw out shy people. Trauma keeps giving me gifts I can't return to sender. But... many bruises are ghosts of what they used to be." 8486 |
Almost halfways throuh the year. (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-/ journal) = jour. (contests) = test. (Senior Center) = SCtr. (Market) = mark. (Coffee shops) = cafe. 17 กันยายน 2566 = 17 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() Too stressed out. I worked on a puzzle, drank coffee with Jay, burnt two hotdogs (ate them). Nothing resolved. Never left 'home'. I'm not doing well. 16 กันยายน 2566 = 16 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 15 กันยายน 2566 = 15 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 14 กันยายน 2566 = 14 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 13 กันยายน 2566 = 13 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Teresa Teng: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv_cEeDlop0 12 กันยายน 2566 = 12 september 2023 Went to Le Petit and chatted with David, Kathi and Laxmi. Visited with Jamie at SrCtr and Dirk at the Butterfly. Picked up mail. Letters/postcards/box! from Phyllis, Sonali and Jody. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 11 กันยายน 2566 = 11 september 2023 Saw the crew at Sr. Center. Mostly sat with Dalton. Laxmi will go to Spain this weekend. Looked at flghts. Visited Travis. Very out of it today. Words slip my mind. Loud pounding at 7 p.m. from downstairs. Saw Kirk. Got receipt. I'd paid for 5 months. I'm good. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
Transition. A week of transition from Udon Thani to Bangkok then via Korea to Missoula. (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-/ journal) = jour. (contests) = test. (Senior Center) = SCtr. (Market) = mark. (Coffee shops) = cafe. 10 กันยายน 2566 = 10 september 2023 Missoula Shopping for food reminds me of how expensive food is in Montana. Bought 3 containers of cottage cheese for 99¢ each though. Spent $25. Ate a pork burger on cinnamon swirl bread once home. 9 กันยายน 2566 = 9 september 2023 Missoula - markets Saw folks. Gary, Charles, Billie Jo, Tootie... Bought food. Fire & Ice, coffee. cold morning, 44°. Wonky sleeping schedule. UM Griz won. 8 กันยายน 2566 = 8 september 2023 30+ hours BKK-ICN-SEA-MSO A row to myself to ICN, slept in Asiana's lounge, chatted with a 22 year old Chinese Canadia on long flight to SEA, Indira in SEA, Alexa on flight to MSO. Travis picked me up. 7 กันยายน 2566 = 7 september 2023 Bangkok Didn't do much. Ate pork satay, chatted with folks. Dilan from Germany helped me check in. Ate with Max, went to airport with Max, met her mother (from Sisaket) and friends. No real problems. Only 5 hours sleep, but I'm okay. 6 กันยายน 2566 = 6 september 2023 Pinto Hostel, Bangkok Ate and rested all day. Pha, Max and Apple are wonderful. New guest from Indonesia, a member of their female Australian Rules football team competing in Pattaya. Went to LDS temple. Kittiporn and others showed me around. I was polite. Very lovely rooms for various rituals. White is the theme. Took pictures outside. 5 กันยายน 2566 = 5 september 2023 Udon Thani to Bangkok. Train was tranquil. Seat 16 was fine. About 32 minutes leaving and 20 minutes late arriving. No rain. Metro? Ban Sue is a nightmare. Very poor signage. No problems at the hostel. Nice folks from Puna, India and Pakistan. 4 กันยายน 2566 = 4 september 20323 Midnight: Mostly cloudy; 27°C 80°F; Precipitation: 19%; Humidity: 92%; Wind: 6 km/h Rained over night. 77°F in the morning. ![]() ![]() ![]() To much to do, so some things won't get done: 1. Message Pan ![]() 6. pack. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Now 1 am. Raining. My alarm is set for 6 am. 8,342 views |
(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-/ journal) = jour. (contests) = test. 3 กันยายน 2566 = 3 september 2023 To do: 1. Continue talking with Pan to straighten things out. 2. Make decision about bank. 3. Make decision about phone/chromebook (I could use tablet/cameras) 4. finalize my flights. 5. seriously check flights coming back. I couldn't do anything all day long except buy my train ticket. I did speak to Pan and got a hug; but, I'm still upset. I need to write to this when I get a chance: "Enjoy the Ride" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Iceland re abortion: "Olafsdottir responded, "We don't look at abortion as a murder. We look at it as a thing that we ended. We ended a possible life that may have had a huge complication... preventing suffering for the child and for the family. And I think that is more right than seeing it as a murder -- that's so black and white. Life isn't black and white. Life is grey." K Dramas (Crash Landing on You): If you want a lengthy thriller to get lost in … Little Women (12 episodes) If you want a snackable legal procedural with heart … Extraordinary Attorney Woo (16 episodes) If you want to cry and cry and cry … Thirty-Nine (12 episodes) If you want to be awash in nostalgia … Our Beloved Summer (16 episodes) and Twenty-Five Twenty-One (16 episodes) If you want to breeze through something silly … Business Proposal (12 episodes) If you want your zombies with a dash of historical political intrigue … Kingdom (12 episodes) CWTCH: I could give you a hug; but, would you lean into me, could you feel safe? 2 กันยายน 2566 = 2 september 2023 I woke up at a decent hour... still no energy. I will try to accomplish some of my tasks today: 1. prepack. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() e ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Neil in "Birds of a Feather" ![]() To Mouse in "How did I get here?" ![]() Most of those people have moved on, living or dead. I was at the 'upgraded' level for a long time. It just became part of my budget. Even now, at a higher level I don't complain. It's not like I'm not eating or don't have a place to sleep. I've been there, done that. Y'know... the internet was a godsend for some of us. I'm connected with so many people from so many places and here at WdC with so many different kinds of writers. I'd be lonelier than I am without it." 1 กันยายน 2566 = 1 september 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Haley has a point: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/haley-the-senate-is-the-most-privileged-... To Bryan {huser:ripglaedr3 in "The Wall Called You" ![]() To 4 provinces (Thing/Hooves) in "De-cluttering and Coping With Loss" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() A-ha moment? Like the group from Norway I saw in person circa 1986?" To Adherennium: in "what do I want?" ![]() But I also wanted to know the world when I was 11. These days... my goals have bite-size chewable objectives. Get up and do something... has been refined to write, read, exercise, walk, take photos. I'm learning the local language. My goal? I don't want to die before I'm dead." 31 สิงหาคม 2566 = 31 august 2023 News from Bengaluru: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/this-trans-woman-was-begging-on-india-s-str... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Fathertymme in "Three Score and Thirteen+ Day 13, " ![]() As in... my brother-in-law died August 15th. I found out when I called my sister on the 22nd for her birthday (August 23rd). I don't forget my sister's b-day... I usually just forget to call. And that's my life. At some point I just throw up my hands. It is what it is. I'm having computer issues but I use my phone as a hot-spot so that works really well in Thailand. In Montana? We shall see. I may need to cut back and that's not all bad. Glad to read about the eyes, the fish, and the garden." To Hooves in "De-cluttering and Coping With Loss" ![]() That said... Montana... I have two closets. I'm not sure what's hidden in their recesses; but, I need to go through at least one once I'm there. I only live in two rooms. It's amazing how much fits into a small place. My problem is depression. I get overwhelmed... far too easily." To Petra in "My heart is heavy" ![]() It's hard to move. I'm facing that issue at 71 and if I live to be 82 or older I may have to face it multiple times. Thailand? Living with someone is a pain... but it's good for me. Yet, lonely without friends. Montana? Living alone is not good for me. Friends? Define that... I want to be in Kansas '76 or where-I-grew up '90 or Oklahoma '04 or even Montana '10. It's not like I don't try. I make connections with everyone... kinda..." Journalism isn't dead... https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/how-unc-student-newspaper-s-emotional-front-pa... ![]() ![]() ![]() I could 'work' but I'm feeling really weak. Midnight WDC is 11 am. here. Unfortunately, I have more on my plate than I can 'happily' handle. 30 สิงหาคม 2566 = 30 august 2023 10:00 ... Rain, 27°C 80°F, Precipitation: 90%, Humidity: 91%, Wind: 5 km/h ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Responding to Annette (and thinking of {huser:demorm}) who reviewed "Not your problem" ![]() I had very low self-esteem. I still struggle. My dad was laid-back. My mother was controlling. I wasn't allowed to speak to family or choose my friends. I smiled at every stranger like a lost puppy. That's part of it too. Interesting that you mention combative... the bullying leads to anger, either internalized or outwardly expressed. I seldom felt safe in my community, at work nor with my family. I didn't connect with the song. That's always an issue with random prompts not of my choosing." To Charity: "Yes, I remember what you said years ago; but, you were focused on your daughter. Hard to make life choices when you're overwhelmed. Strangers can see what family cannot. Or... you may be more willing to take the advice of strangers. Either way... congrats! Mattress on the floor... done all over the world. ![]() Hotel rooms have advantages but renting a condo works for me. It's much cheaper here in Thailand." To Steven: "My writerings = my blog. I do try to do other things but exorcising, walking and chatting every day for physical, mental and emotional stability is also important. I do a bit of a lot of things. I'll be traveling next week, so that will impact my routine (like... what routine...)." Pan is still sick. He's also sweating, has a fever, drinking water but won't eat. 29 สิงหาคม 2566 = 29 august 2023 I woke up does that count? fuzzy headed. I need to do my exorcise, maybe think about rainbows today's BCoF prompt and try not to stress out about 1 week left to straighten out my future trips. I leave Thailand on September 8th because... that's when my flight is scheduled and must figure a way back a.s.a.p. I doubt I'll do much around WdC as i don't do birthdays I'll be busy. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To mousethyme: "I pet a cat today. ![]() I have to remind Pan to take his meds. He's been ill. Today was day #4... hopefully he's better tomorrow. I don't take any meds myself at the moment. Just as well..." To Neil: "I tend to talk too much. That's a problem for everyone. I need to leave next week, so I'm struggling to maintain some sanity. Pan has been ill, and that doesn't help. Looked at return flights in early October." To Elizabeth: "Summer... in the past I could have probably come up with a lot... but in Thailand the cool > hot > wet seasons are different and I have nothing that I miss because everything is new. Highlight: trip to Laos, especially beautiful historic Luang Prabang. Low: didn't get to the park in Chaiyaphum to see the rocks and flowers." I looked up flights today. About 50,000 baht or $1,500 round trip. I need to make decisions and hopefully can tell Pan when I return before I leave. 28 สิงหาคม 2566 = 28 august 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Midnight. Muggy. 80°F 27°C; Precipitation: 14%; Humidity: 86%; Wind: 2 mph. I'm feeling like crap. Coffee? Can barely stay awake. It's almost 6 p.m. and still sultry. I would say that Pan is having a rough time. He took his meds at 21:00 but wasn't 'here'. |
(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-/ journal) = jour. (contests) = test. 27 สิงหาคม 2566 = 27 august 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 26 สิงหาคม 2566 = 26 august 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 25 สิงหาคม 2566 = 25 august 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Dropped my phone. Broke the screen. Still works. At Chada. Don't like it much. 24 สิงหาคม 2566 = 24 august 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() To {huser:kb6vas in "Things that Make Me Smile" ![]() Small things tend to make me smile. My favs on your list: 11. The train whistle in the middle of the night and 4:00 am. I live in a mobile home park near the train tracks. Did you know that the trains sound different late at night than they do during the day? They do. During the day, they sound muffled and always in a hurry. Late at night, they have a hollow and lonely sound, as if they are lost. 12. Trees Always standing tall, strong and at attention. So many of them have been around for years—generations. I look at them and feel the history that they must have seen. Especially the trees in the forests. To Scarlett: "In Thailand (when is your next visit... ![]() ![]() My life is boring. I have daily routines I keep track of that remind me I'm still breathing. Plus Pan provides me with support. I've lived alone for years so this is good for me. Today we are in Maha Sarakham." To Kelly Petersen on FB: "You will not be dead until those who remember you are dead. I like having young friends, but they'll only remember me as an old codger..." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 23 สิงหาคม 2566 = 23 august 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'm a bit worn out. Did not sleep well nor long enough. Pan did not look well but managed to get going by 9 am. I was concerned that he would sleep in. It's after 10 pm. now and he's sleeping. We were both very tired when we got to our room. 114. The rain kept us in for a rest/nap. Free insta-coffee, has breakfast and, although it's fairly utilitarian, it doesn't seem sterile like the Hop Inn in Chaiyaphum. It's down a quiet lane with barking dogs and singing frogs. 22 สิงหาคม 2566 = 22 august 2023 ![]() ![]() ![]() Return of winged things, white flutterbies, pesky flies, the roar and echo of jets. The towers loom but not high enough to block the sun. I prefer cooler shadows. I must hurry to be done. ![]() ![]() The clothes are drying. They're swabbing the floor today. I scrubbed the threshold as Pan took out the trash. He's like that. I just wanted to get up off my tush to walk down the hall, using the trash as an excuse. But... he wanted to help. He's been sitting a lot too. He told me that I needn't interrupt my work. *sigh* He means well and at least he understands that my writing is 'work'. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Midnight. Cloudy, 26°C 79°F, Precipitation: 17%, Humidity: 92%, Wind: 5 km/h. Rain in forecast. "Little is known of Yamabe no Akahito other than what we can gain from his fifty poems in the Manyoshu. His thirteen Nagauta poems and thirty-seven Tanka poems were all written between 724 and 737 AD." My comment at YCC over climate change apathy: "Norwegians have centuries of living on the edge, just one crop failure or fish failure away from starvation. However... the Kingdom of Norway was killed by the Plague, becoming a vassal of Sweden or Denmark. It took 500 years to restore it. May explain their response to Covid compared to Sweden. A collapse of the Gulf Stream would be similar or worse than the Plague as certain areas become unlivable for humans. Facing extinction isn't pleasant. And avoiding or denying reality is understandable in that context." 21 สิงหาคม 2566 = 21 august 2023 Gary's son Gary had his 21st birthday yesterday. I mention this today, not because I forgot, but because I'm just shocked about the passage of time and depressed because that past life is long past. Milestones remind me of this. Will I remember to call my sister? Her birthday is the 23rd. To Rosemary re historical novels: "A first person point of view could be written in the present. It draws the reader in whereas past tense provides distance, and a telling of a story looking back at it. Both tenses have uses. And... it's fiction, of course! Unless there are actual written records from that time... they tend to be written by someone who was neither then nor there." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To {huser:howellbard3 for "My name isn't Noah" ![]() As for Noah... no rain today... yet." To {huser:soledad_moon in "Inky Six" ![]() I met a man years ago who got inked all over to cover a disfigurement. I think of Allison who does colored floral tattoos. She's quite an artist. In Thailand some people do, some people don't. Personally, I've seen black geometric designs I've liked; but a bird sounds nice." To {huser:cathartes02 in "Meh. Whatever." ![]() It's why scholars of any ilk are ignored when the street-preacher speaks the truth. Bill Nye comes to mind, but there are many others. They know how to translate concepts and abstractions into a language most people can understand. That's also the strength of metaphor. And parables." YCC TybeeTimes: "Like Jack Sparrow's compass, a wishcaster's compass always points in the direction your heart desires." |
Twenty-second Week of the Year 180. (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-written journal) = jour. (contests) = test. اسماء names (attributes) = اكمال = perfection (excellence, fullness, consummation, maturity} 20 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 1 اسماء ![]() To Stephen on Newsfeed: Unfortunately that has been a 2 thousand year old tradition among Christians. Misunderstanding is understandable. Standing by misinterpretations is demanded but inexcusable imho. I'm not Christian. I get tired of the outrage and infighting while basic decency is set aside. You think your 'wrong' neighbor is going to Hell? Give them a going away gift and smile, always smile, genuinely smile. Ask for a postcard. ![]() To huser:pickmarvilla for "Welcome to my crazy life update" ![]() Living with someone has been a blessing for me. I go back to my lonely room in Montana next month and may have to ask pointed questions about rent. I cannot afford to pay double what I'm paying. Rich folks are buying second and third houses, turning them into AirBnBs or leaving them empty most of the year. Prices have skyrocketed and rental companies are price-gouging.. I may be forced to relocate to Thailand or elsewhere where at least I can have a nice life without the financial stress. I want to move to Kansas or Iowa but that's more expensive than staying put in Udon Thani. ![]() Choices and decisions. We each face them. Sometimes they have happy endings. Enjoy this moment and hopefully your future decisions work out for the best." To {huser:tuozzo re blog {item:1411600 "I haven't ignored you but I do want to apologize for waiting so long to comment. Memorializing this journey is most suitable for getting back to blogging. It may also help you in the future looking back. Come September, I hope you can get back to writing poetry and/or songs. And keep blogging. "When you reread this next year and sigh, "what was I thinking", you'll have a good enough reminder not to do it again!" "Hmm... lost my comment (computer issues). This is a bit of a 'wake'. 1. Casserole delivery? Can someone babysit with tea, coffee, crumpets? An old auntie, parent, student, neighbor, friend... someone from church. Not there to do anything except give emotional support. 2. Can your husband take a day or two off... if necessary? 3. What more can be delegated or hired out like you did with the piano? 4. Is there anyone else who can meet with the landlord? 5. You seem to be good at organizing, delegating, knowing your limits, physical and otherwise. Have you given yourself a pat on the back? You deserve one." To huser:beholden in "A Long Lost Tale" ![]() I lost everything years ago. I force it out of my mind because dwelling on it isn't going to bring anything back. I chose forgetfulness and building a new life." "It's impossible to know what will trigger others. Or what others may find offensive... (I am not always tactful). I tend to be easily triggered due to multiple traumas. I'm just a Big Bruise. Forgetfulness may not be as powerful as forgiveness, but sometimes that's the only tool available." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() My computer is acting up today. I lose entries. It randomly changes screens. My nerves are shot. The 31% chance of precipitation is storming outside in a blustery downpour. I'm sure the temp has dropped! The weather sites are a bit behind the present conditions. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 19 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 19 كمال ![]() ![]() I'm finally functioning. Pan cooked; I helped (onion, squash, carrot). ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() It's 97 degrees at 5 p.m. Hopefully the rains come back next week. It's too hot to do anything outside other than sit and chat. It's too hot inside because we have a west wall that soaks up the heat of the sun. I opened the doors and windows as it was hotter inside than out. At some point I'll put on the a/c to bring the bedroom down to 26c degrees. ![]() ![]() ![]() 18 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 18 كمال A brush caresses his long grey tresses, a hand untangles the strands, a voice calms the stress. To have lived long enough to see the fruits of one's labors to live longer and see it all destroyed... This was the curse his grandfather had mentioned, the one he now knew he had to abide. His thoughts were on the Moon, his silver hair resplendent. The brush moved slower now. There was no one else to attend him. To Holly on fb: "As in... you can verify. But is it the same for your neighbors? *sarcasm* I know you are talking about weather, but verification (and lack thereof) applies to much of social media when posters repost posts of people they don't know personally about places they have never been and events they have never experienced." Virus 45: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/what-s-he-got-to-lose-fascism-expert-say... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 17 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 17 كمال Decisions. I didn't like the Hop Inn but changing hotels can be a nightmare. Next time I'll try Man U or Lertnimit. Going to sights would've cost 3.000 baht and I wasn't up for it without knowing I had a place to stay. So we headed home. By-the-way, there are 4 buses to Udon and 3 to MahaSarakham/RoiEt. No one seems to know these things. The last bus on both routes leaves at noon. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 16 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 16 كمال Ached all night (good bed, but...). Morning has broken and we need to go out and eat. There's only coffee until 11 a.m. I managed to spill cup #4 as I went to open the door to room 415. Hop Inn is sterile. Mid-American suburbanites would recognize a chain motel. It's that and nothing more. No charm at all. But... its near the bus terminal for buses to Bangkok (south), Chiang Mai and Nan (west then north) and Surin and Ubon (south then east). Buses north leave from Terminal 1, a bit of a walk. It's a place to stop for one night. Traveling means: ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To {huser:soledad_moon question on the Newsfeed "Could someone explain why I've decided a naga uta storem is a good idea?: "Yes. Oh, you wanted an explanation! Why? Simple... writing outside of one's experience or comfort zone enhances one's ability to write. It's good for the brain and sometimes has felicitous side effects. You may also bring something to the poetic table that others do not. Your unique point-of-view and style of writing expand the corpus and may show what the form is capable of. If not... so be it. You love mental challenges and this is but one of many. My advice? Go for it. To 4provinces re "You Tube Cute & Educational & Gossipy Videos" ![]() I also watch reels and tik-tok and Reddit's AITA (well... sometimes we all are...). I learn some things; but, what I learn most is the point-of-view of those who comment... and how ignorant we all are in general. If Oliver makes you happy? ![]() To dunkelhetstern (Jessica) "Ghosts and Memories" ![]() I sleep 'alone' when I travel, sharing a room if I'm in a hostel. I live alone in Montana; but, sleeping next to Pan makes me happy. My friend Gary reminds me of my father. I met him about a year after my father died. Marilyn (who helped me get disability) reminded me of Marilyn (my former boss I didn't get along with). Very similar in appearance and personality. Interesting juxtaposition. I'm glad you had Nan for all those years. ![]() To Jeff in "The Struggle is Real" ![]() Proverbs, some of the Psalms, Ecclesiastes, and the story of Ruth are worthy of reading and rereading by most anyone of any religion. But, some of the other parts of the Ketuvim are bloody and present the xenophobia and vengeful nature of a persecuted minority. Esther and Psalm 137:9 is hardly a way to go forward with peaceful relationships. The Red Letter Jeffersonian Bible may be easier for non-Christians. The epistles and commentary seem to be time-specific and have been weaponized by some Christians. Hebrews makes some valid points about 'faith' as does James about putting words into action. However, the Bible, even the NT, is not a cook-book imho... just saying. The texts are old. Reading it in English is as disconcerting as reading any other Scripture not written in English (basically none before 1830). Translation is more than word1 = word2 (too many false cognates in related languages Norwegian/Swedish, English/French... and Thai versus English ![]() You make a valid point about interpretation. We are not the All-Knowing, All-Embracing Creator. Humility is a key to any approach to Scripture." To Robert: "I remember the Jetsons. Flying cars! ![]() ![]() Those two they got right. But why did it matter at the time? Folks wanted faster, freer, and less work. I suspect that hasn't changed. Starbucks succeeded because people wanted faster and no fuss coffee; the price didn't matter. And AI may succeed for the same reason that Rumba has. Other, darker, sci-fi-fantasy looked into a dystopian world where even growing food was an act of courage. And that fear... still exists. Thai culture is more concerned about political/cultural issues (told at a slant) or avoiding them by focusing on nonsense. Lots of nonsense that resembles the American sitcoms of the 50s or 80s. Slapstick, soap operas (lakorn), or friend dramas like "Friends". What succeeds... or doesn't... reflects on the present day psyche of a group of people. Shows like Star Trek, Twilight Zone and All in the Family were indicative of the angst of their times." 15 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 15 كمال ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Day started out okay. We took Grab to the station, bought tickets 250 x 2 = 500 baht. Trip was uneventful. Hop Inn? Institutional. 1.460 baht for 2 nights. I 'sweated like a pig'. Totally soaked. Very worn out when I lay down. Groggy when I got up. Pan got sick to his stomach. Lost evening. Chaiyaphum is a bit slower pace. I could carefully cross the streets. There are a couple things to see outside of town (waterfall, parks, flowers, stones, lookout) and Prang Ku ruins from the Khmer. Tomorrow? 14 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 14 كمال ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 7833 |
Twenty-first Week of the Year 180. (exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-into-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-written journal) = jour. (contests) = test. 13 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 13 كمال ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Late downpour with wind! Really blew things around! Cooler too. Sprinkles afterwards. It takes time from the clouds to wring themselves out. 12 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 كمال 12 It's becoming too much effort to just get up. It's already 84 degrees at 10:13. Two cups of coffee... I need to eat. Pan is up and about, has been to 7/11 and cooked. I'm listless. Today is the Queen's birthday. It's designated as Mother's Day throughout Thailand. Pan went to Nong Bua Lamphu today. Visited a waterfall. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Disaster of a day. 85 degrees at 11 p.m. 11 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 كمال 11 Forecast: Isolated thunderstorms 91°F° 33C Precipitation: 30% Humidity: 69% Wind: 9 mph It's already 83 or so degrees at 08:15. It never cooled over night. I'll need to be careful today (and change into cooler clothing) I cover up in bed because the a/c freezes me even when the fan is on a low setting. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To huser:spacefaction in "Biggest Mistake of Them All" ![]() Glad to hear that you were able to resolve the problem." To huser:wolfgang in "stoner" ![]() One sees that here at WdC. Not a lot of critical thinking. Not as much creativity as one would expect. Nor as much expertise as one would hope. The level of experience? We have some new teenage members and those are to be encouraged; however, many groupies who won't venture outside of their circle of safety. I suspect some are literally afraid of going-to-hell if they interact with un-washed heathens. I miss open-mics. I miss writing groups. I miss cafes. I'm not having any success in Thailand; but truthfully, Montana, post-covid, was dismal as well. The creative people went into their shells and didn't come back out. To huser:neilfury (Neil) in "Another Step Forward...And Another...And Another." ![]() I exorcised this morning as usual. Unfortunately, I felt weak and woozy. My way of handling that is to not overdo it. It's a few minutes before noon and I've managed to shower and eat. And... I don't feel a need to take a nap. Small victories still count. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() In "Salon" by Chauncey DeVega quotes Bessel A. van der Kolk's book "The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma"... "Being traumatized means continuing to organize your life as if the trauma were still going on—unchanged and immutable—as every new encounter or event is contaminated by the past. "The greatest sources of our suffering are the lies we tell ourselves." 10 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 كمال 10 Today is "renew my visa" day. So... I did.. To Interstitial Spaceman on the Newsfeed: My "Blood of the Garlic" characters are mostly named for garlic: Ajo, Bawang, Thoom, Sara Shoom, Czeszniak, Knyflok. Clovia? The rest of the cast: Brett, Bunny, Mr. Nightengale, Lily, Old Sniffer, Betty and the boss, Meadowlark. We vampires and wannabes mostly get along. There are so few of us... we hang by our fangs together. Many of the stories/vignettes that need editing are found here: "Blood of the Garlic" ![]() Email to 💙 Carly: I read "A Needed Change" ![]() I liked it because I sit in a condo on the 8th floor and can gaze at the clouds gathering. Just took a peak. They seem peaceful; but, one never can tell when a fist fight will break out in the heavens. Thailand isn't heaven... just so you know; but Udon Thani is fairly peaceful and this 14 story condo (6 towers) is very quiet. In some ways it would work well for an urban get-away. Pan just cooked. It's nice to have an 'assistant'. Email to bob county: I just read "The Magic Medication Cap..." ![]() PS: I do not try to control other people's innies or outties. PPS: You capture some of the present cultural/political issues. Most people have just enough energy to live their daily life, with little to spare. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 9 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 كمال 9 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 8 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 كمال 8 Dreary morning. Roar of the jets. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() What happens when the mayfly has one day to live... and it rains all day? 7 สิงหาคม 2566 - 180 كمال 7 Look... I got up. Some days that's enough. The struggle can be real. Even after coffee. Note: 1 August – 19 August is the Baha'i month of Kamál (كمال) - Perfection, excellence, fullness, consummation, maturity. I'm feeling none of that... sorry. It drizzled while I exorcised my ennui. Not much to observe. One stray mosquito, no butterflies or even flies! I suspect everything is waiting for the y } peak out. The damp clothes are b.e.a.r.l.y drying. I try to not provoke them. Pan is up and functioning. Hiccups most of the night... I do appreciate his good mood. But, I'm listless. It's nice when we both have a good day... on the same day. Ah... Thai and English. "Wing" is part of a bird. And I consider baht to have wings... especially the 20 green plastic note. The 50, 100, 500, 1.000 fold better. In Thai though วิ่ง [wing] means 'run'. Does money fly on wings or does it run? ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Pan left for friends. Who knows when/if he'll be back as he's disappeared before, especially when he's depressed or manic, and broken promises. ![]() ![]() ![]() |
(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-written journal) = jour. (contests) = test.![]() ![]() ![]() https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/the-biggest-threat-to-america-isn-t-trump-or-m... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Pan has hiccups but doesn't want to go to 7/11... another day he'll spend in bed. Another day wasted for me. I did my exercise in the drizzle. I fetched filtered water. I will attack each task without joy, but in the knowledge that in the end it matters... to me... if no one else. Depression creeps in when I realize 'I matter to no one else". No one calls. No one sends messages. No one comments. I could scream and no one would notice. But that's hyperbole. Someone here would chew me out for screaming. And, yes, people do care... a little... and even send me a message! or comment on spoosebase! or speak if I speak first! or... well, that's about the extent of it. To huser:nordicnoir (Ned) "Wonderful poem. I see it in my mind. ![]() I don't have these memories of my childhood. I couldn't see without my glasses and wasn't allowed to play with them. Someone throwing a ball at me was terrifying." To QotD: "My phone is a hotspot in Thailand. In Montana? Go to a cafe... if one is open. Activities off line: walk, swim (not alone), try talking to people! (not always successful). In Montana I could read or watch movies. In Thailand I can watch TV. Years ago... just visit friends and play cards or chat. Years ago... garden. I don't have a garden and I don't have friends anymore." For:
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Neil: "Yep. Yesterday had one horrendous moment. Today is much better. I am aware about the lack of quality in Thailand but for many things... like shirts... it's not an issue. However... shoes are a different matter. Overall, stuff is so cheap (when compared to US) that I don't worry much about that (I'm a worry-wort). I am irked about this being a throw-away society though. That's hard for me. I feel safe in Udon. Being gay or being in a relationship isn't an issue, especially in Udon. Being a foreigner isn't a problem as well. The people aren't born thieves (like in Costa Rica) or violently confrontational (like in the USA). However, I walk... Thai's don't and crossing a street needs three Hail-Mary's. Plus, I feel desperately isolated. I'm still breathing, although frequently short-of-breath. Thanks for responding." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/why-so-many-americans-have-stopped-going-to-ch... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Pan is sleeping in... I get worried but what can I do? If he is eating (I remind him) and taking his meds he should be okay, but I check on him to make sure he's still warm and breathing. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I made a big mistake today. I always make mistakes when I get frustrated. And then I may have made another. But... I decided to take a walk, a long lonely walk at night. That helped a bit. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Pan 'woke up'. Unfortunately I feel like a wet noodle. He's chipper. I'm depressed. At least we both ate a little. He went... somewhere... called... seems happy. He cooked in the evening: chicken with malago, potato and egg. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Angela W on fb re 'putting on clothes when leaving a locker room': "There may be a specific dress code. Some people think a thong and nipple covers = clothes. The tourists in Vang Vieng in Laos were scandalous. Totally disrespectful. Wanna go nude? There are beaches in your own country for that." Alfred Booth wrote on fb: "4:11 am Awakened by her light streaming through the window. She finally broke through the evening’s thick clouds" Something can be done with this image... just saying... ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Pan woke up okay but his first words irked me and then he got an attitude and was possibly depressed. I didn't have time for that today and he left and didn't come home. Finished last contest before midnight WdC time. Barely. ![]() ![]() Odd dream in the sense it took me back in time to another place to a 'younger' me. Not a nightmare although foreboding and seductive. Cannot afford to get lost in dreams today. So much to do! Damp morning after overnight sprinkles. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Duchess Laughing Lemurs: "I need to finish writing for July contests... ![]() To iguanamountain (Gale): "Belice? ![]() I think that like any new tool AI will have powerful uses and misuses. But, there's always the option of opting out. I started writing again in my hand-written journal and I pay with cash. I do use the internet but google has become so monetized as to be almost worthless. Hawthorne Mythos... I have written more Zmitri poems and I need to get back to my two vampire series. I find working on-line is different from paper. I can edit better on-line... if the chromebook and connection is working properly. I'm thinking of Debussy. Yeah, background music. Hopefully it calms me down without lulling me into a dreamy neverland called sleep." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Met Pan on the way. I gave him my umbrella. It's now a downpour. Did he think of that? I doubt it! He believes in door-to-door service so I'll be surprised if he walks. His problem. I need to focus! 19:10... no Pan. It stopped but will it start again? In looking over contests I have to remember which I must enter and which I can let slide. ![]() |
(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. (hand-written journal) = jour.![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I had to update chrome. So far... ts'okay. Pan is preparing supper and I'm chilling for a moment. He doesn't want me to go swimming because it's sprinkling... if it were thundering/lightning I'd understand; but, he's also not 100% and has offered to watch over me whilst I practice. I won't go in alone. In fact... other than walking I'd rather not do anything alone. Age has caught up with me and I just have to be flexible and kind to myself. ![]() ![]() Grey start to the day. 79 degrees and damp. The beginning of a week with rain. 89/77 forecast for the week; better than glaring sun and 90s. Doors are open except for the bedroom with the a/c on. I was able to adjust the a/c last week and this is much better but cool air blowing on me isn't good and my mouth dries out. The normal daily steam-bath is better for my skin and as long as I don't exert myself or stand out in the sun I'm okay. Life is a tad boring at the moment. I do my routines and I'm writing a tad more; but, my mind wanders, and that's not always good. Woke up to a familiar nightmare this morning. Soooo... not good. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I ate coconut curry, mushrooms, glass noodles over rice (very good) but had to lay down. I'm exhausted. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2125220 Prompt 1. They were traveling the peaceful seas, Zmitri but the fire in my stomach — and the ice in your craw, began to rumble as the waters began to churn. Those who survived our tantrum spoke of mythical creatures at the edge of a flat earth. But it was never flat, was it? And when the molten core meets the leaden skies the waters cannot calm Earth's inner torment, nor ours. I wanted you; you wanted... anyone else. I needed your ice to put out my flame. The seething seas were not amused. Was I to blame? Orion witnessed this wondrous event and invited us to join him Among the Plieides we found a new home, stirring up the cosmos, still ice and fire amusing each other in the chase. 2295490 Prompt 1. Urban fantasy. The jacaranda was swaying aloft. Nothing to note at this time of year. One flower fluttered to the pavement where Ping picked it up. He smiled until it turned bled purple and left a mark on his palm. Something to note. He went to the nearest washroom to his hands and glanced in the mirror. The pale image wavering back glowed an odd shade of indigo, turning a deeper purple, before he blacked out. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() "All is not lost" a prompt from Chicago for "The One-Line Lyric Challenge" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Overly warm day. May be why I didn't feel perky. Anywho... I took it easy. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() The ants act excited, it's a cotton-puff day. It's their last, but they don't know it. I zig-zag the chalk that will shorten their lives; and, ask myself, what will lengthen mine? It's ninety degrees and I wilt as the taro fields look weary. But the ants seem excited. Am I jealous of their ignorance. Am I too spent to care? Pannya is having a 'rest day'. It's warm but breezy with the windows and doors open. I'm just practicing breathing. I've been short-of-breath and I don't know what will help with that. I've mentioned this to Pannya as it's important when I'm trying to swim. I could go farther if I could hold more breath. I also panic. But I am getting better in the water. Time to get a mask (and eye goggles) and ask everyone as someone might know a solution. When I have had enough I sit in the shallow kid's section and practice floating, breathing or just relaxing looking up at the stars. The pool is good for my skin, in spite of the chlorine. My feet are looking much better. A nice warm "bath"... does things for me that a hot shower can't. Pannya wants to swim at 7 p.m. That's a good hour... most days. I must say that my routines are helping me emotionally, physically and otherwise. I should tweak them but frankly? I'm a tweaker, so I needn't worry. My list gets longer or shorter depending on my mood and circumstances. Some days I'm just doggy-paddling. And that's okay. They damned me to hell, never asking me whether that's where I wanted to go. They said I could be saved by ritual and confessions of faith; but, rituals are mere motion if not backed by belief, and confessions would expose my secrets. My mother kept the secrets and I feared her reality more than mere man-made fiction. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Forty forty FORTY 07/24/2023-'root' Martha Root traveled the world, toting hat boxes and luggage to meet Queen Marie of Romania. She was rootless but not ruthless. She was a champion of a cause. 07/25/2023-'democracy' You voted? Nah... Why? Why bother? They're coming for your brother you know. Take him. And they have eyes on your sister. Let them. 07/26/2023-'love' I beckon your lips. I caress your hips. What do butterflies know of love beyond the sip of nectar, Zmitri? Do they share kisses or embrace in a hug? Are they merely bugs... 07/27/2023-'image' A breeze ripples the water, distorts the reflection of the lily. Your voice echoes in my mind and your image wavers with lost time. Zmitri, I miss you. 07/28/2023-'face' On the face of it, I've faded, Zmitri. The fire in my belly has become a dying ember. But I'm still a Dragon in love with a Rat. Fire in love with Water. 07/29/2023-'grow' Intertwined the vines grow together reaching new heights, ropes turning leaves to the distant sun, flowers nourishing bees. And what of these? Two lovers hugging Zmitri? It should be you and me. 07/30/2023-'emotion' Your cool depths betray no emotion. Your surface remains un-rippled. I would drop a pebble into your frozen puddle, Zmitri, to let you know that I've visited. 07/31/2023-'enthusiasm' Galaxies swirl in a dance, suns mere eddies on the stream of cosmic consciousness, the rock we sleep on provides respite from the never-ending enthusiasm engulfing us. Rest, Zmitri, tomorrow I leave. |
(exercise) = Exor. (observations) = obsv. (s***,shave,shower) = ss&s. (read something) = read. (comment blogs) = bogs. (BoyLove series on-line) = ytBL. (Thai TV BL series on GMMTV25) = tv25. (write poetry or prose) = PorP. (take a daily walk) = walk. (buy something) = shop. (take a photo) = foto. (video) = วิดีโอ. (speak Thai/Lao) = pôod. (learn Thai) Thai. (go-in-the-water) = pool. (clothes) = wash. (cook something) = cook. (tidy up) = mess. (travel) = trip. (noon) = เที่ยง. (talking to ex-pats/travelers/strangers in European) = chat. (Thai teaching book) = book. 23 กรกฎาคม 2566 ![]() ![]() A list of 5 from least to worst: 5. Having a gun (real or fake... never knew) put to my head. I was cool and collected. 4. Being forced to drive to the border (I stopped at the precinct instead). I was mindful and focused. 3. Waking up to someone in my room standing by my closet. I was screaming and hysterical. 2. Being caught in a riptide, Cahuita, 1974 whilst I was walking alone. I was terrified and panicked! 1. A couple events from my childhood I cannot remember. I still am frightened of heights/edges and despise birthday parties. Trauma is never what happens. It's how the body reacts. Being homeless triggered traumas and was traumatizing in itself. I have a whole list for that and other events. My high-anxiety and deep-depression stem from those. I'm actually doing much better these days. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Re deSantis' Florida: "Another Reddit poster chimed in, “First, they will drive out the trans families and gay-accepting families. Next, they will drive out liberals and democrats. Next, they will drive out any minorities who are able to move away. Finally, when everything is just white, they’ll drown due to the climate change they don’t believe in.”" ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() "...or when you die even the worms will reject you." 22 กรกฎาคม 2566 Crash, boom, splash. It rained overnight. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Mary Martin Arnold on fb: "OMG... that is spot on! I remember Brandon... very violent alcoholic. In getting to know him I realised that drugs and alcohol were his meds. His severe depression was one of his main problems." 21 กรกฎาคม 2566 Hotter day today. 88 degrees going on 2 p.m. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() s.o.b. ... c.o.p. = short-of-breath ... change-of-position. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I'm really worn out... again and again. Kissinger visits China at age 100. I'll be amazed if I last until 80. I'd like to... and certain choices on my part are helping. But, I'm just worn out. Moving to SiSaKet would be another yearlong commitment... possibly 4 years. I should write about "A difference a July makes". Last year was brutal and Bry and Angie helped get me through it. This year Pan is helping in ways he's prolly not aware of. I'm doing better, just super worn out. 20 กรกฎาคม 2566 ![]() To Neva: "The notion of letting my imagination ... follow the migration of my wandering muse speaks strongly to me." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Erasmus on spacehook: "Of course, one can do this anywhere. I was grateful for the clouds when I worked out this noon. I will be grateful for the rain this week. I'm grateful for rice, baloney, and raisins? Pan cooked for me this morning and the daily hugs and kisses. And today I seem to have control over my bodily functions... that's a nice power to have." ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Plah chon (snakehead) tastes really good with malago (green papaya). We could smell it coming down the hall after swimming. 19 กรกฎาคม 2566 Muse or Mojo? My Muse has been nibbling. I have no Mojo. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() To Nikola: "I have experienced the abuse of "we'll vote on it". Don't get me started on "voting" on my basic human rights, code for "we get to justify our dislike of you". Seems to be a popular stance these days. If they refuse the time-off they don't value you as a human being." Thailand: https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/world/in-thailand-socially-engaged-buddhism-goes-... 18 กรกฎาคม 2566 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Saw Tom; a toddler watching me; a low branch of a bush sneaking under the bench, reaching out for the sun; last night's puddles; overcast relief. Today's puddles reflect the grey sky but provide no crystal ball for tomorrow. If there comes a rain, so be it. A new puddle will reflect the new reality. Just as the puddles of my childhood remain a memory of a mystery. This week's forecast is 87/75 with rain possible every day. I do prefer the rain. I also find it easier to be outside when it's cloudy. That said, puffy clouds are welcome. A searing sun is not at this time of year. 17 กรกฎาคม 2566 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() After 200 'steps' and 50 'swings' I felt weak and had to sit down, so I looked around for movement: butterflies , bugs?, bees? Shadows dappled the smooth pavement (too smooth = slippery when wet), stray thoughts, spare breeze, a large ant, a small one. The roar of jets, silent pale wings aloft (a plane?), the uncertainty of an old realm resisting change. Let my thoughts wander - but back to the workout - and pain. 100 more 'swings' Jet flying low. The sun seems to have shifted the shadows a month after the solstice. 200 'twists', 350 revolutions of the stationary bicycle. It was warm but not too hot. To Chris Carpenter on FB (friend of Renae): "And that's a poor choice made by penny-pinchers and narrow-minded societies. It won't be that way everywhere. That said, it's a bit late to be fighting this war now. Still worth the effort imho. The Japanese and Cherokee have protected and supported the masters of traditional art forms. That's not enough though... just like heirloom vegetables or artifacts, all ancient knowledge (pre-AI) needs to be valued enough to be kept alive. But we chose money over knowledge, and GenZ and GenAlpha will pay the price with their ignorance bequeathed by the Nouveau Narrow-minded who are gaining power globally." To Sonali: "Was I deeply in love with my community years ago? Was that why I was generous? And once trust was broken... as I was broken... did my generosity die as well..." 40 words: 07/19/2023-'value' Of what worth the comma? Confusion avoided. And they're, their, and there? Mere grammar. Just correct it. The object can be perfected; but David in marble is a cold embrace. Seek the imperfect among the living and know your worth. 07/20/2023-'culture' The petri dish seemed bland and boring until you arrived... 07/21/2023-'music' My mother loved singing harmony but never truly blended into society or either family. 07/22/2023-'improper' That would be my middle name or me when I'm riled up with rage from your abuse. You chuckle as I make a spectacle of myself. 07/23/2023-'unit' Duality: One. One. One. Zeros and ones. My number is very common but it loses its color, its sound, its flavor when reduced to units of zeros and ones. Call me humanity's better-half twin... if you can count that high. 38 |