One man's journey to find the way home |
I am an American Baptist ordained minister. I began my life journey in Massachusetts, where I was called to help people understand what it meant to know a loving God. The call came during a time when I was wrestling with how to help my brother Kurt, who was diagnosed with Schizophrenia during my high school years. I was a new Christian by my senior year following trying to understand what it meant for me to care about a person like my brother who others tended to stay away from. After twenty three years in Massachusetts, God sent me to the land of Kansas City where I spent about 35 years of my life. I was a pastor, a resident chaplain, a supervisor in training and most recently a caregiver and security. Everything I have done vocationally has been with God in mind. That does not mean that I am totally comfortable with all the movings of the Spirit. I am now in Erie where I do not know very many people. I came here because of my wife. She is from Erie and coming here was the right thing to do. It just plain made sense. My kids had grown up. I did not like Kansas city in terms of climate and was looking forward to a change. I had become very frustrated vocationally and longed to come to Erie to get a second opinion, because I honestly believed that was what God had wanted for me. I left behind kids and grandkids who I loved!!!! I had two jobs that I enjoyed. They were both very appreciative of my skills and I was making more money with the two jobs than I ever had. I heard more than once. ARE YOU CRAZY? Well I can only say that I am in love with God's leading. I am starting all over again. It has not been easy. Maybe some of you can offer me some words of support. I am lonely despite the fact my wife is with me. She battles depression and has two siblings that are having similar battles. When it is all said I am in a depressed community with a depressed wife and her family. So I begin the conversation.... WELCOME!! |
Stomach is hurting. Tomorrow will be a big challenge. Let's just hope I get thru today. All this work is killing me. I need to slow down. Maybe my body is trying to tell me something. |
Witness to withness: Isaiah, Matthew Introduction: 1. Repaint and thin no more 2. The craft room, God can be said to be crafty I. God offers us all opportunity to enter the withered hand A. Moses experience of withering B. Jesus heals a withered hand on the Sabbath. C. My dad was said to be withering away Ii. Letting the feet of Jesus come alongside. A. Casting aside shame. 1. More than the bread we eat, woman anointing 2. More than a great act, don't test God. 3. More than need to rule and be in control. B. Jesus on the cross suffers with us. C. Jesus offers as he stands beside us to enter the wounds to find out who God is. D. Mom's peace in raising special ❤️ needs III. The Holy Spirit calls in a gentle voice join the team. A. The story of Elijah as it intersected mine. 1. Where are you going? The one loner 2. More work to be done. B. By the holy spirit we are in this together in partnership to see God's work done and blessings flow. Conclusion: Let us take time as so many broken people to embody this truth and come on board. 1. Reach up to join God's hand and then embrace the hands of others 2. Let us stand knowing we are not alone 3. Let us pray looking forward to seeing fruit if partnering to lead others to Christ. Indeed repaint the image of church for others to see and thin no more. Witness to withness. |
I am still awake and ticking. I have certainly known stress. I got Christmas off. Now I need to figure out when to fly back. And I hope to reschedule an appointment by days end |
I need to change. I am no different than Paul if I continue. I am tired. God grant me serenity. Help me going forward to work in ways that cherish relationship. Help me love my wife Lord! |
Witness to witness. I have no idea where it will go. Guess I will see. |
Yes vacation found a way to end. It was great to rediscover what makes family work. 1. We all showed up. 2. We all found ways to contribute to making our vacation a memory worth holding on to. 3. We were able to get along with each other. There were times to vent and yet it was not at each other. 4. great food. The sisters know how to cook. 5. Exercise, along with fun and games. 6. Singing and dancing around camp fire. 7. Getting back to life as usual after our time together ended. 8. I look forward to to getting back together again. |
On my way!! I survived the week. I got paid a healthy check, now I take a few days to reacquaint myself with my siblings. In the course of doing this I think of my kids and a sermon who will take care of me using scripture about loving neighbor as myself as foil. Be with me God! |
One more day until I can be on vacation for about one week. Most of my obsession is dealing with whether I get my mileage from my trip or /and two days tagged on to vacation. I am up to 68 and 3/4 hours for week. Most of it will not be overtime. Today I will see my pastor. Let's see what comes of it? Hey he may not even be there. |
A month and one half and I am quite depressed. Money does not solve any problems!! I am working too hard to feel awful. As of today I have close to 38,000 dollars wit three months to go, but I am no feeling it. I am tired and wrung out. God give me strength. A part of the problem is my wife's ongoing malaise. She had an awful dream about an elevator of all things. 1300 dollars comes in handy and yet it has really made me feel weird inside. God be with me to help me understand. Who will be there for me is the title my next sermon and this blog takes me at the cross of what that feels like. How do I get off the cross, without ripping the nails thru my skin. God be with me as you were with Jesus. |