I love how you wrote this piece....
I actually picked it from the newsletter titled 'Get you backstory in motion'. And yours is a perfect example. Through the short words I could tell that the narrator is black, and not so educated, that Biff's mother was not racist, and that both families had become one.
Awesome piece!
Thank you for sharing!
Dang! MY adrenaline is 150% overboard already! Nice one! Starting a book with an explosion does that to your audience. Love it! Perhaps a little more background on the key characters here? I would not mind reading more about the choice of the location and what the other countries did to try and get it on their soil e.g. Japan.
Nice dialogue, good description of he environment, but I don't get the ending - was she calling for another appointment she had as a patient, or as the doctor this time around?
I love it, but feel some little space could have been filled somehow. It wuld have been a beautiful beginning to a sensual romance - I can already add the bits in my head!
Keep it up, you sure dont seem like the book-keeping type.
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