Short and to the point. Wraps your meaning up nicely.
How did it make me feel?:
I have known this feeling. Occasionally it is easier to succumb to your demons and get a little respite from real life. Been there a few times but overcoming those Demons is the real release.
The exceptional bits:
You covered an issue that I think most people will be able to relate to. Very well put.
Any suggestions?:
None that could improve, though if told from the first person it may give it more anguish.
Fantastic - if that's the right word. Lovely is probably closer. I actually came across this chapter by accident, mistaking it for the start of a short story. I am glad I found it.
I really don't think you would have a problem getting this published.
How did it make me feel?:
Even though the content deals with traumatic story lines, your style of writing made me feel like I had just put on my slippers and sat down in a comfy chair in front of the fire. The story is told in such a gentle manner that lulls you in and keeps you reading.
The exceptional bits:
I believe your calm and soothing, methodical story telling is the very well suited to this genre.
Any suggestions?:
Get it published!
Any other comments?:
I am going to start reading the whole novel at my leisure. Can't wait! Well done.
Very interesting story. It kept me hooked till the end.
How did it make me feel?:
I was intrigued throughout reading this and got quite engrossed in the story. It was quite scary and amusing at the same time.
The exceptional bits:
You portrayed all the emotions extremely well; the indignation of Jenna, the self importance and obnoxiousness emanating from Mr Coxcomb, the menace of the two 'suits'. I could also feel the darkness closing in, in the archive room.
Any suggestions?:
None for this story but I reckon you could write a great full length novel. You write very well.
Very good read. A unique and very different story.
How did it make me feel?:
I feel as if the old TV could also be an old person. As we get older ourselves, the world can shock us in its changes and we feel like we don't belong anymore. It was very sad that the TV realised this and gave up. I think a lot of older people also feel this way.
The exceptional bits:
It is pure brilliance, whether you meant to do it or not, that the TV does have similarities to the 'human journey'. When we reminisce and nostalgia kicks in it makes us feel warm and happy but also by contrast it makes us yearn for those past days when confronted with the cold, harsh reality of the ever changing present.
Any suggestions?:
Just a few typing errors, other than that, it was excellent.
Good work. You have the perfect poet's gift of rhyme and rhythm.
How did it make me feel?:
If I was this friend I would feel honoured that I was such an involved part of your life.
The exceptional bits:
Short, sweet and says it all.
Any suggestions?:
In my opinion I would try not to use unusual words such as 'trenchant'. A lot of people may not have come across it before. Though in your defence alternatives that match the rhythm are probably few and far between (scathing, cutting, short?).
This is really good!
You are writing from the heart with true emotion - that's the best way to write poetry. I always write poems when I have high emotion, feelings tend to come out of my pen that way.
To me you are painting a picture of the life of one who wonders what life is all about.
Great work - keep going.
I too love the comfort that a rainy day brings. I can relate to what you are portraying. To me rain is a comforter, a blanket and protector. Just as you say, the world and it's problems can't touch you when it's raining.
You portray your inner feelings well and I can 'see' what you are feeling.
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