I am not a writer although I have started to write. As far as errors of grammar or spelling are concerned, there was nothing that distracted me from reading the story.
I enjoyed the read. It was in a style that I try to write in. My only criticism is that I would have liked a little more character build up at the beginning, and I felt a little rushed through her encounter with the stranger...it could have used more description of emotion and setting there. I felt I was in her house at the beginning, but the hotel was just a backdrop and not a real place.
We are introduced to the stranger at the end with some quick back-story, but it would have been interesting to meet him in passing at the beginning.
A little more character insight as to why she would meet the stranger would have been nice too. The chat section could have been expanded more allowing some buildup of romance or intrigue.
There is a lot of room to expand this; yet it is complete as written.
-- Write on --
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/alexandra
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.23 seconds at 6:54pm on May 05, 2024 via server web2.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
