Great piece. Very insightful, you really created a lot of sensed and setting. Might've been a typo, but on the second last line it says ',A', is that purposeful or just a typo? Keep up the great work! Ash
Wow. This touched me deeply, it was so full of life, of passion, and it felt so real. I am completely awed by the flawless piece of perfection. Well, well done.
I don't judge on this, but others might, and I fear you have made a mistake. You have written 'Home is innately itself. in and of itself." while I believe it should be "Home is innately itself, in and of itself." Replacing the full stop with a comma will fix the grammatical error.
Other than that, I wish I had as much talent for writing as you do. You put words together so well in ways I can only dream of doing, and I can see you have a lot of talent. This is by far one of the most beautiful pieces I have ever had the privilege of reading.
This was quite funny, and made me smile. I like the fact that it was written in the second person, and there was quite a twist that made me laugh. I also like how the first line and the last line rhyme, as well as end with the same word, as it gives a conclusion to the poem. Your poem flowed well and its content was amusing as well as good. Write on!
This was... wow. You captured the reader so well, with such complicated but beautiful words (e.g. phosphorescent), and this was truly spectacular. I am stunned, this is really, really good. Write on.
This is really good. It's short, but powerful, and I especially like the last line. I like how you started each stanza with the same word, as well as rhymed the lines, it gives the poem rhythm. This is a seriously amazing poem. Keep writing!
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