Hi. I love, love, love the story line. It seems like a great first chapter to me because it made me want to look for the rest of the chapters. Two small critiques, though. One is that it's a little difficult to read. Some of the sentence structures are a little clumsy. Particularly the line, "Had he known her before the accident that wiped everything more than two years ago away permanently?" I had to read this one a couple of times before I understood that Max has no memory of anything that happened to him more than two years ago. Another weak point, for me, is the description of Gangren. Maybe it's just because I used to work in a juvenile detention center, but something about the description of life inside seems a little lacking. Juvie is extremely depressing and very dark, but it didn't feel like you captured it quite right, for me anyway. Otherwise, a great first chapter. The vivid discription of the girl was great!
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