Amazing. This is the sort of thing that I thoroughly enjoy. The combat scene was well written and visual.The only thing I didn't like is how you don't say much about the world and society. You gave minimum information that was necessary to the story and that was it. If you plan on changing the story, I would expand a lot in the intro. There is just too much unknown about a very interesting sounding idea. But anyway, GREAT job :) I really like the ending sentence as it says a lot with very little. It almost seemed like something I would write.
I feel you did a good job here. You do pretty well at portraying emotion I believe. I read it a few times to try and fully understand it because I don't want to miss any details. I'm interested in what else you've written now. Keep up the good work :)
America does seem to have turned into the 'bully' country. We go into so many wars with people simply because we don't agree with them. Vietnam for instance. We waste money on killin people followed by stripping away our own personal freedoms. Terrorists aren't interested in our freedom. We take that away all on our own. More to the point on the piece, it was fairly incoherent I'm afraid, and quite aggressive. Besides that, not bad.
I find a major flaw in the structure of your argument: you seem to assume that the atheist does not want god to exist. He finds evey excuse to delay what the theist sees as the 'inevitable.' Personaly, I would be ovejoyed if god were to appear before me. However, if such a bieng were to exist, there would be an overwhelming amount of obvious evidence. Seeing as there i not, trying to fool oneself into beleiving in a god is like a child holing onto a teddy bear. For awhile it is fine and is helpful for development. Eventualy though, a child must learn to support itself, grow up and move on. In my opinion it is high time humanity does so.
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