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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/aschatria
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45 Public Reviews Given
45 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
Rich language and profound descriptions.
I am truly intrigued to read more of this story because it's obviously a beginning of something new, probably a new chapter of life.
I always prefer good beginnings if they evoke a new dimension of character's personality.
Good work. Keep on writing.
2
2
Review of The Chase  
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
Lovely and wonderful, I always like to read a good pet story but I decided long ago that I would skip the mushy end if it exists. I hate to read about people pets who die and all the melancholy that is left behind.
The most stunning thing which I find connected with pet topics and stories is how people mirror their own aspirations trough contact with the animals.
Beside gold fish I think that dog is the most suitable.

Why golden fish?
I like silence. LOL
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Review of FOREVER  
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very melancholic and nice, with lots of and even too much introspection.

I manage to read it right to the end, but I was tired with a few difficult description.

Maybe you should fragment it a little bit, and give it more dynamics by installing breaks between two introspective thoughts.

Good work.
4
4
Review of The Promise  
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
I rated your poem high but I do have a few suggestions and I hope you will find it interesting.
Well, the thing is that the whole poem from start to end has almost the same rhythm, and almost the same count of the words in each line.
Besides that poem is very good and appealing to read.
5
5
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
MY email is completely covered with various hoaxes and spam, but I think that google gmail has the best practice how to deal with it.
Everything unknown is directed to spam folder which cleans by itself, the biggest problem is that the rules which is spam and which is not are too strict sometimes, and some of my subscriptions fall in such a category.
Your article is ok and I like it, but it doesn't cover much of the practice how to deal and prevent spam in the root.
As for the ordinary user he has a choice how to "behave" on net and not to share his information or the contact email, but for someone whose interest IS to get widely known by many people that is worthless.
I never received any mobile spam, google serves me well, but I noticed that yahoo is quite clogged with various rubbish and the most popular social networks like facebook and twitter are nests of infections.
Can you share something about these two huge problems?
Thank you
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6
Review of In Dreams I See  
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (4.0)
Aw, so nice and optimistic but end kill it.

If you remove the

"I see your hair
so silken-gold."

I could fall in love with this song.

And why did you say:

"In my dreams I see
A sight, so dear,
deprived of me."

It completely ruins the mood. Do you like to suffer in your dreams? Do you like to write "hurt" poetry? Or is this only number one in sea of positive songs?

Send me links of your recent work.
I love to comment.

Love
7
7
Review of A Magic Lamp  
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
Very romantic and relaxing piece of poetry. You should continue writing and send me links to your best pieces. I would be glad to review them and give you my best opinion.

I am fan of romantic writings, nice night mood and quite a night bird myself.
Win!
8
8
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
I felt like reading a beautified version of Oliver Twist but without fog and dirty streets. Well, done with kidding, you done a great job describing circumstances in which talented boy was brought up and the circumstances where he apparently seem to be a victim together with his aunt.
I hope you will provide some precise time frame for the story, I believe this is happening in the past, but I don’t know when exactly. Also, no matter of the time frame this is a sad reality of many children.
The optimism and intellect can truly help a person to escape from the dark demon of revenge and hate, much more to add this is about 7 year old child and not adult, so he is completely stripped off the ego.
Wonderful story, keep on writing.
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9
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
As I started to read very first sentence I gain a feeling as I were entering SF futuristic world and not the chapter of the past. In fact I was glad by the date of the event. More to add, I like the old timer collection you line up here, language and intro mood of the hectic fair.
Your descriptions are a perfect stage detailed pictures and dialogues completely in the time. I love it.
The rest of the story is very melancholic and a bit dreamy but it is also very sweet and very cute, and as I said in the beginning I did have some feeling of the fantasy happening here, and it really did happened.
I like your wonderful happy ending.
Let's hope it is the truth...
10
10
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
You still hope.
You still love.
You still have energy and passion to share.
My world is so dark right now, my passion is dead and buried and all hope is gone.
I am just a stupid toy, senseless, worthless lil girl, and what I have done with my self, I let my heart out as he asked to, and than he run over it with no feeling at all..
11
11
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
Everything is so true and so like me now, but this : " For, the passion I felt,
Scared you away." In my case he wanted passion, he wanted love , mock me after it and play with me so long. I wonder why I left my heart to him, on his will... and I suffer now, I can't find my center, I can't control, I just want to die.

Wonderful lyrics...
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12
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (5.0)
It is war poetry and I see the point you want to make even with first stanza.
But then the real battle begun, the one you took for granted in past because it seemed so easy back then. And there are no winners and losers in that game, because it is a battle of hearts.
I am sure person find out how much devotion you can give but still she wanted you to react on her and her words, not only to shut yourself up.
You forgot there are no battles there, but battle of words, it is close up circle which awakes you every night and not letting you go back to sleep.
The bad thing is, yes, emotional relationships can be scarred too, but only if you don't drove strength from that what you do, from the fact you survived and you done the best thing for everybody.
Emotions in battle are not to be shut down, they gave you even bigger courage, because you FEEL that things you have to do is the things you are doing for freedom, and not only for you but for your future. The best warriors are the one who fought from heart and with power of heart and not the one who tore it out and carry on without goals and urges. That is the difference that separates generals from dough boys.
You have to pick up yourself from floor, you have to rise like a fenix and continue fighting and living because the world is much bigger and much important is beauty of life than your personal grief.
I giving this work 5 stars only because you inspire me to say this.
13
13
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (3.5)
Interesting and very brave. Not everyone has a determination to write about star collisions and modern topics of creation in form of lyrics. New stuff makes me interested but my personal taste has to stay aside of any higher grade, I will have to know you better to give you deserved rating. Thank you for this interesting refreshment.
14
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Review of Bitten  
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (3.0)
More than anything I would like an explanation for the insect poetry. This is in fact first time I encounter this kind of lyrics. Really scary.
I believe that impressions you tent to create are clearly metaphorical and that we will soon receive conclusion part of your song. Bitten 2? What do you say? Please. Fairly said I have trouble picturing people with overgrown termite around neck lol.
Cheers
15
15
Review of My poor heart  
Review by aschatria
Rated: E | (4.0)
I feel this is more confession than a lyric poetry, in fact it is so personal and descriptive you should really choose another description for your work. All the best.
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