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Review of Haiku  
Review by Ashen Sunflower
Rated: E | (4.0)
First things first: these are all lovely.

Your first one brings to mind the pagan concept of the two kings who are constantly overthrowing one another in an endless cycle, but with the sun and the moon. My only suggestion for that one (if you want to work it, which you definitely don't have to) is to find a way to tighten up the second line. It is important in haikus to make pack every single syllable with as much as you can because you have so few to work with, and "until it's" almost feels like a waste of three syllables, as there is nothing remarkable about them diction-wise and they only serve to move the poem from A to B.

I would say the same about the "then" in the second haiku. As for that one, I love the song bit, but I found myself thinking about how lightning's "song" (thunder) is so removed from the lightning itself that it almost seems its own entity, rather than one that belongs to lightning. Maybe you can find a way to convey this?

The third one is just perfect.
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