I really liked your poem, it was very sweet and the imagery you used made it very easy for me to see what was going on. My favorite stanza's were the 6th and 7th.
I really liked this, you were very descriptive and used great details. And definetly grossed me out haha! But I wish you could have ended the story by telling what happened to the man.
I absolutely loved this story, and I can really relate to this considering I am in a similar situation. But reading this made me feel as if I am making the right decision by keeping my baby. You did a great job expressing the characters emotions.
I loved this, the dialouge was good and you did a great job with end rhyme. I could relate myself to the teenager side but yet the mothers side as well. The ending was too cute!
I love in the opening paragraph you say " It was as most things are, misunderstood and eventually forgotten." That is so true. You say so many things in this story that are relateable such as a grandmothers eyes. This really makes the reader be involved with the character. I like how you gave enough detail to support the story and how you used repition. The end was shocking. Great job!
Like the title, it's an attention grabber! In the first sentence you could have done without the word "almost". I like how descriptive you are throughout the story. The story is good and the language kind of makes the character who he is but some of it just does not sound right. Like the word choice "spindly and gurgling" you used. Intresting story but towards the end it seemed like you were rushing to end it, maybe elaborate more or go into detail about the spider??? Overall great job.
Great job with descriptions and details. I felt like I could see what was going on. Nice usage of repititions! Some parts of the story were hard to follow. Maybe because of word choice?
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