Very good descriptive phrases of the monster and the girls fear. Well-written short piece about terror so overpowering the body just wants to give in. Loved it! I enjoyed reading it very much. Held my attention from first line to last.
Kudos to you for a job well done. Keep on writing!
Sincerely,
author2me
Beautiful poem, very moving. I liked the way you intertwined emotions through a spring shower. Nice touch on the soldiers funeral.
I only found one mistake, 2nd verse, third line, the word spashies, I think should be splashes. This did not alter my rating on a well-written poem.
Loved it! Great characterizations. Well-written with an easy to follow plot. Unique take on the 'Tape-from-Hell' scenario. Fantstic ending(chills)! Reminds me a little of the old Twilight Zone stories. No mistakes that I could find, but then the story was so fast-paced and engrossing, who cares?
Bravo on a job well done! Write for Life!
Sincerely,
IGW
How absolutely profound! Beautifully written. nice hook with the journal style writing. I was mesmerised from beginning to end. A very smooth flow from one scene to the next gave a fast and easy read. This one is publishable. I say go for it!
Bravo for an excellent write! Keep it up!
Sincerely,
IGW
Very well written story. well developed plot and characters gave this story enormous readability. I loved the action sequences, well done. I only found one mistake but it was minor and didn't warrant a lower rating. When Stanton met Aluara in the cafeteria----'in case somewhat got in into their head to try----' I think you meant the word 'someone'.
Bravo on a piece worth publishing! Keep on writing!
Sincerely,
IGW
Loved the style! Very ingenious. well written in easy to read language. It grabbed me with that wonderful hook and kept my attention throughout. Hmmmm- can't help but wonder about a gray cat with yellow eyes owned by Amenity and Mammy Marie. Nice touch there. I hope Jake gets an advance on his book because I would love to hear more of this story. It ended too soon for me, leaving only innuendos.
Bravo for a job well done! Keep on writing!
Sincerely,
IGW
Loved it! A great tribute to the almighty alarm clock. Well-written with a delightful ominous tone. What excellent descriptive phrases. There have been many nights when I have tossed and turned, glancing at my alarm clock, knowing the inevitable is coming.
Excellent piece!
Bravo! Keep on writing!
Sincerely,
IGW
So profoundly touching. I have tears in my eyes. This is what writing is all about. Lifts the readers emotions in tune with the story. Excellent write. Great flow. The promise of youth and the threat of death is portrayed with such compassion in your words and characters.
Fantastic! Historical account even though vague is right on. Very well-written. Being a Poe fan I really enjoyed this story. Caught my attention fast and held it to the end. Well-developed characters.
Couldn't find anything at all adverse to comment on.
Very descriptive words serve up a chilling atmosphere. I was engaged from start to finish. Well-written with an easy flow from one scene to another. Amazing ending! Didn't expect that. At first I didn't know if a man or woman was telling the story, but in the end it really didn't matter.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this story.
Amazing imagery! You have a way with words. Your descriptions are so vivid, I can see myself in that forest.
There is a small detail about the indentations of your paragraphs. They seem to be all over the place.
In the last paragraph I am a little confused. 'He watched as the black figure reached the base of the hill on which he stood..' Is it Jayce or Draewrynn? You may want to consider rewriting that sentence to clarify.
All in all I am fascinated with this story. Can't wait to read the rest.
Kudos to a job well done. Write on!
Sincerely,
IGW
wonderfully written tale of the facsinating bond between owner and pet.
Your descriptions of action were vivid.
Perfect use of imagery. Only found one mistake, "he carried that scent sent of skunk within his fur" I think you meant "he carried that faint scent of skunk within his fur".
I am a dog owner myself but your descriptions of cat behavior were amazing.
I thoroughly enyoyed the read.
hi Noe,
I am returning the favor since you raided my port.
How horribly fascnating! I love the way you made this story journal style. You protrayed the language and mindset of a 12-year old perfectly. As each day passes and things go from bad to worse, you involve the reader in the sad hopelessness of the situation.
There are a couple of sentence structure issues, but that could be attributed to the style of the 12-year old who is writing it.
I thouroughly enjoyed reading this.
Kudos to you for a job well done! Write on.
Sincerely,
IGW
Hi,
I can see you are a deep thinker.
The first stanza of the poem is great.
I think you were searching for the right words for the second, to convey your thoughts.
The last line sort of loses its connection.
In order to coincide with the last line of the first stanza maybe you would consider this slight change for the last line of the last stanza:
"The ones I don't, you'll hear my squeals"(correct spelling)
Try it on for size and see.
You have a creative spark.
Good job. Keep on writing.
Yay! Your sentence structure was atrocious, misspelled words here and there. But you know what, It was an easy read, and I got what you were saying completely. And the most important part....I enjoyed reading it and was saying, yeah, yeah, this guy knows what he is talking about. You have accurately described every writers thoughts(although some would not admit it).
I can't wait to read more from you.
Good fantasy article about "The Grim Reaper".
From what little you wrote I can see you are a good writer.
Just a couple of things that would make for a smoother read."The largest amount of us are off collectings.." Would prabalbly read better as "The largest amount of us are collecting..."
"the souls of natuaral deaths.." Try leaving the "s" off of deaths.
I sure would like a story about October. Maybe continuing this one would not be a bad idea.
You have a good concept going.
Hi,
How inspiring and true. Well written with a vengeance. haha.
I know I have come across some reviewers that only live to take your poem or story apart bit by bit and drag it through horsehit. They are not interested in the gist of the story or even like the sort of genre they are reviewing.
You have certainly brought my spirits up.
Good for you. Just because someone knows perfect structure or grammer doesn't make them an expert on the heart and soul of a good story or poem.
Well-written story. You have amazing talent.
I was drawn in from the very first, wanting to know why Jonathan was in the hospital.
Excellent chacterizations. Good job on showing the family dynamics through Jonathans' eyes.
The ending didn't surprise me but the overall atmosphere of the story was mesmerising.
I encourage all readers out there to partake of this story.
Great story! The bully got out-bullied. Which goes to prove the old adage that there is a little of the beast in us all. I liked the way you integrated human aspects into the characters. This story would fit just as well without the werewolf personifications.
The emotional state of Lily was described very well. I could feel her fear at the start of the story.
I would have liked to see more of a confrontation at the end though. Victor gave in a little too easily.
All in all I enjoyed it immensely.
Good job! write on!
Well-written vampire story told with a creative twist of love and family.
Only found one mistake, when Henry was holding the crucifix. the sentence;'if anything, she noticed a glint of delight on her face.' should be: 'if anything, he noticed a glint of delight on her face.'
I really like the way you portrayed Jonas's love and sacrifice for his family, even though they were vampires.
You took an age-old story and gave it a unique twist.
Kudos to you. Write on!
What a sad but mesmerizing story. Very well written.
I felt chilled every second of the way.
It was very brave of you to tell a suicide story in the first person. usually doesn't work, but you worked it well. My only stumbling block was the last sentence. I think it would have been more intense if the word true had been left out to read "My last thought is that a real trigger pulls much easier" keeps the readers mind hauntingly in the moment.
Bravo. Keep up the excellent work.
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