Greetings Garret! I am Shannon wit' WDC Power Reviewers. As I review your item please keep in mind this is nothing more than my humble opinion. Take what you can and leave the rest :) I enjoyed your poem. What I thought was happening turned out not to be right, nice twist towards the end. Here are a few suggestions I thought might help the piece flow a little smoother. Great read, write on!
One day, a man came to her, yelling in I could not understand..
I ran to her aid and lashed out at him. Suddenly, he became...
Greetings Andrew! I am Shannon with the WDC Power Reviewers. This is definitely a unique poem with a different perspective. Your descriptions paint clear imagery and draw the reader in as if they were the ones cooking this meal. My favorite line was: "crisp scraps are left
like skeletons in my closet." There are a few suggestions I am making below, but they are just my humble opinion. Great work, write on!
I think some more punctuation and capitalization would go a long way to add an even flow, unless it was done like that on purpose.
third stanza fifth line- maybe change "and" to "they"
i choke it all down like sin; it threatens to come back,- maybe change to "back up"
Greetings HBIC! I am Shannon with the WDC Power Reviewers. I came across your poem on our review board. Is is a beautiful poem about every girls dream to be rescued in a fairy tale. I liked your rhyme scheme and it flows pretty well, I have a few suggestions, made just in my humble opinion, below. Take what you can from them and leave the rest :) Great read, write on!
Third stanza last line- turning away from the world- maybe "turning" could be changed to "turned".
Forth stanza last line- Asking innocently for someone to answer her calls- maybe "Asking innocently" might flow better standing alone as "She asked innocently"
I reworded part of this story to suggest a way I think (IMHO), that it woulf low a little smoother.
He looked up from where he stood,
and curiously saw that if only he could
pull back one last score,
He would be able to see her core.
He looked up from where he stood,
and curiously saw that if he could
pull back only one last score
he would be able to see through to her core
Greetings Itchy! I am Shannon with WDC Power Reviewers. I enjoyed your poem. It is a dark affirmation but it is stated in a matter of fact type manner and you don't see the end coming. I do think maybe some punctuation would help it flow a little better. In the third stanza second line I'd like to suggest maybe replacing the word "It" with "That. This is just my humble opinion. Great read, write on!
Greetings Ryan! I am Shannon from WDC Power Reviews. I like the twist at the. I didn't see it coming. I can see two boys arguing like this as well which defines your characters. Your dialog is very well done. I would suggest putting spaces between each statement and maybe making your font a little bigger to make it easier to read. It's a great read, write on!
This is absolutely beautiful and gracious. It reminds me of a close friend I have been friends with for 10 years this May. She has been there for me through so many things. I love the poem it fits the image well. The colors flawlessly compliment one another. The only thing I don't see if how to send it to someone. Great job! I'd love to see more of your work so I'm going to nose around your port :)
I love the sentiment behind the flowers being kept and preserved from the relationship/relationships. I myself collect flowers that are given to me.My favorite stanza would have to be the first one mainly because I love violets. I like the choices of containers you chose that the flowers are in. Great job, write on!
This was interesting. However, I am not a "dragon master" lol. have not seen half of the movies or read half of the stories listed. Though I did score over 50% correct lol. I must have done some good guessing :) Again this has stayed within your theme for your portfolio and I think it enhances it. great job, write on!
I am not that usually cares for fantasy but I am partial to this kind of fantasy. The imagery you have described paints an enchanting picture of the love and light of natures unseen beauty. Thanks for sharing. I think this deserves a full five stars. Great job, write on!
I love a good ghost story and this was well written with few mistakes. The ones I did see are listed below. The ony suggestion I might make is there is a bit of ciche to your story and maybe changing thngs up a bit might ad to it. For example...the girl is wearing white...maybe soemthing different to change the stereotypical idea of what she's wearing...etc. Just my humble opinion :) Over all great read. Write on!
A broken porch swing hung on the verandah in front of the house.- verandahvis veranda, there are two spots this was misspelled.
A small leather bound book had fallen out of the shelf on to the floor.- on to should be onto
“I’m very sorry for walking in to your house, but it was ra—aaah!” - in to should be into
As she drove down the lane to her parents' farm,- I could be wrong but I think parents' should be parent's showing possession.
" A guy named Roger Garrett built it back in the fifties," the farmer said. - In the body of the story there is an unneeded space between the quotation and name breaking the sentence structure up.
The only other grammatical error I saw is some sentences are double spaced but most are not. You might want to uniform that in order for the readers eyes to flow more effortlessly over the lines.
Great idea! I am looking forward to the August round, if there is one (keeps fingers crossed). I just started blogging again and think this would be an interesting way to keep up with it on a more regular schedule. Your forum is well put together, easy to read, and interesting enough to hold the readers attention. The competitions technical info is clear and precise. You offer excellent awards :) Great job, write on!!
This contest is the perfect way to help writers keep those creative juices flowing and help prevent or unblock writers block. I that there are usually two prompts to chose from. The one being a style or form of writing some may not know about. This gives them a chance to learn and practice a new style. It is a challenge for this to run every 24 hrs but is excellent for the impatient (Like me hehe). I appreciate the time and energy that goes into this contest. Thank you for reviewing and awarding winners as fast as you do. Great job, write on!
As a scrapbooker and all around crafty person I think this is a wonderful idea! I like that we can come together and share tips and ideas. Some of us don't have other friends or people in our area to share hobbies with (like me) and this is a wonderful place to do that! For me I now writing also plays into my scrapbooking so this is the right place to coincide with this topic. Thanks so much, great idea :) Write on!
This very much reminds me of myself :) You did an excellent job what's it's like to be so lost with an empty heart and his patience with us waiting for us to turn back to him. Great job, write on!
This is one of the most clear and concise poems I have read about true love and one's search of it. Great job. It deserves the ribbon it is graced with. Write on!
Wow, this is very informative and helpful. Thank you for putting this together. There have been many times someone has referred to a certain poem style that I have no clue what they're talking about or how to find out. This is a wonderful resource :)
I enjoyed your writing and it is a piece I think many can relate to. My last relationship ended in the same nature.... having to reclaim the me burried so deep inside. Nice job!
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