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Public Reviews
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Review of Mirror, Mirror  
Review by Beth
Rated: E | (4.5)
Your poem is emotional and haunting. I could feel the pain, sadness, and despair of the speaker. I could also feel the coldness of the mirror. Your poem did exactly what I like for poems to do which is to make me see and feel something. The only thing I would change is there are a few parts where the rhythm fades and it is distracting. There are other parts where thoughts are divided up to force the meter to continue on in a way that is confusing, forcing me to reread the sentence and distracting me from the overall beauty of the poem. To fix this I would suggest reading it aloud to yourself. Again, I love this poem it is powerful and moving the way it is.

Beth
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Review by Beth
Rated: 18+ | (3.5)
I like what you have so far, it is interesting from the very beginning, and I very much want to know where this is going! I saw your comment that you are looking for ways to reduce the amount of dialogue. It does appear that most of it is fairly necessary to building your characters, but I do have a suggestion. In the beginning it is mentioned that Matthew recognized the woman who led him into the church as the woman he spoke to on the phone. That line would make a great introduction into what he was calling for. You could put directly after he recognized the woman that he had called prior to set up an interview about demons and exorcism for a piece he was writing in (insert whatever magazine/newspaper he writes for). This eliminates the need for the dialogue where Father Donnelly asks why he is there and Matthew explains, instead you could just put a sentence there saying, essentially, I explained about the article to Father Donnelly etc. Aside from that, you can cut out the non-crucial bits of dialogue, but I really didn't feel like there was too much, although that is more of a matter of opinion. The only other comments I would make is that in my experience (I grew up Catholic) except when talking directly to a priest they are not called just Father, and the priest would not have talked/prayed to a guardian angel, rather he would talk/pray to God. A guardian angel guides over you and keeps an eye out for you. Unless you are going somewhere with the idea of the Guardian Angel, in which case, never mind. I hope you found this at least a little helpful, and again, I really like what you have so far. I hope I get to see more!

Beth
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