*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bell_stoires
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
1 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Bell Stoires
Rated: 18+ | (4.0)
You have an interesting story beginning here. I like the tension about the explosions.
I would like to know a little more about the main character; what does Kyle look like and his age and so on.
There are a few grammar and tense mistakes; for example when you say 'almost everything they've done together' this should be 'almost everything they'd done together'. Anyway, I am not too sure if that helps.
I enjoyed reading this chapter.


*Gold* My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Get CASH!" .
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/bell_stoires