wow this story was amazing. Before I started reading it I was not in the mood to read a story, or anything actually. But it quickly drew me in and I found myself captivated by it.
a few tips: obviously quite a few grammar issues but it's the manner, not the matter that makes a good story.
also, maybe a tip for your next story would be to write more about the surroundings. like for example: The ivory green of the forest's trees surrounded him and his fair maiden. lol just a small example but if you incorporate that ALOT into your story it can make any story go from being a good story, to an amazing one. Just what I'm trying to say would be to go a bit deeper when telling a story. Go deep in both surroundings and in the characters. Writing a story is almost like writing a really long poem.
Thanks for this and good luck :)
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