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3 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review by G.K. Robinson
Rated: E | (3.0)
I am a lover of historical fiction, so reading this was a rather large delight. There's not much in the way of Native American fiction (at least not that I have ever come across) and it is a genre I think that could be explored more thoroughly. I also enjoyed the intrigue and character relations throughout. There are just a few critiques I would have to make. You had a few spelling and grammatical errors throughout (a few missed commas here, a homonym mistake). The formatting of the piece is beautiful, but the way it is chunked up together is a bit too much (maybe it's just my computer though, always a possibility). You're a very direct writer, which is extremely good if you are going to have a lot of action (such as that with the bison hunting). However, your transitions need to flow a little more easily. For instance, in your introduction you mention that your character is sixteen. While that is important, it could be mentioned in a more subtle way. Another example is that you introduce all these characters at once and it's a bit much to take in. I could hardly remember half of them by the time I came to the end.

However, a little bit of a clean up and a few changes in your writing could easily make this a five star piece for me. :) Continue to write on this, because I would love to find out more about what is going to happen, especially since you mentioned how all the parents seem to disappear at one point or another.
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Review of Actually..  
Review by G.K. Robinson
Rated: E | (4.5)
I found this to be very intriguing! There were very few grammatical errors (yay!) and I have to say, you definitely have the ability of sucking one into the story with your simple yet dark words. This is definitely a good start to whatever story this is going to be. :)
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