*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/billyo
Review Requests: OFF
1 Public Reviews Given
3 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
1
1
Review by Billy O
Rated: 13+ | (3.0)
This is an interesting piece. I can see where the tension should build for the impending war.
That being said, I do have a couple of suggestions.
The dialogue is good, but gets a bit confusing with the two girls: "Ragawe knew that by 'we' she had meant Rantros, but she knew as well as he did where her loyalties lay." Who knew?

Merra Quote "Then why did you choose me only to leave?" Ragawe left Merra's leadership or did Merra leave something?

You know what would really be cool, some good description of the great hall or the dragon troops.

Small spelling and other stuff you'll see when you go over it. Write on, I want to seeeeeeee this unfold.

good luck!
Billyo
1 Reviews · *Magnify*
Page of 1 · 25 per page   < >
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/billyo