If I'm being honest, the small intro/idea needs to be broken up into property punctuation/grammar, as congregated, it is difficult to read.
From reading your excerpt, it is difficult to establish the basis/intention of your story. For example, are the aliens vulnerable to cigarette smoke, and want to punish humanity from inadvertently keeping them away from their visitations/assistance?
What would fascinate the aliens so much about Planet Earth if a barrier is keeping them out? Rather than plain revenge, you could have a storyline about the aliens returning to Earth to retrieve a valuable power source abandoned in previous generations.
For example, what happens if the source is accidentally uncovered by children in a small, sleepy town, and the locals soon learn of its mysterious power? The aliens track its use, and return to Earth to fight the humans for possession of the material.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/profile/reviews/blackbladder
All Writing.Com images are copyrighted and may not be copied / modified in any way. All other brand names & trademarks are owned by their respective companies.
Generated in 0.20 seconds at 6:45am on May 05, 2024 via server web1.
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
