Wow! I love it! I really can see how this would help your friend, and I think it's even helped me! So cute, with a great meaning. It's so inspirational, and I love how the whole thing can be one huge metaphor. Great job, and keep writing great stuff!
This is a great, intriguing poem with an interesting format and beautiful syntax. I love the image you conjure up, and the mood is fantastic! Great job! I hope to read more of your work, keep writing!
I write poetry too, and though I'm new and I don't have much work up, I'd appreciate it if you could read them and give some constructive criticism.
Great job! I love how you were able to keep the murders from seeming villainous, by giving them a well-meaning motive. However, I feel that you wrapped it up too quickly, and that the ending was somewhat abrupt.
Keep writing, I like it!
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