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4 Public Reviews Given
4 Total Reviews Given
Public Reviews
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Review of Powerless Power  
Review by JT Langley
Rated: E | (3.0)
As you stated before, i also have no idea what this about, however, it seems to hold some kind of Eastern religion monk poetry kind of philosophy behind it, which is good. I think it is better that it does not have direct meaning, because the instance of the poem is easily movable and allows readers to take their own interpretation to it. It is simply put as the struggle and loss of the weaker against the stronger, and that is applicable to so many things that the ambiguity is its best characteristic.

There are several lines that i felt took away from the piece though, mainly in the way that they were written. The lines, "The wind reaching it the best," and "But it was too late," seem to take away from the first stanza, in that they feel to simplistic in their wording and association to the poem. The surroundings lines are too strong to match properly with these lines.

"Dirt flew
Birds fled
As nature braced itself for the coming dread."

This is a really great moment of imagery in the piece. I enjoyed how simply it was worded while creating a vivid image.

aside from those points, trying some different words in the place of others, and rewording some lines could add strength to the piece. If you plan on any revisions, i would look foward to seeing the final draft.


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Review of Sister  
Review by JT Langley
Rated: E | (3.0)
There is so much emotion to be felt in this piece. The content is stirring and easy to relate to, and i enjoyed how it reads somewhat like a letter. However, at times i felt the emotion really wasnt being pushed through the words. Reorganizing lines, enhancing vocabulary and syntax, and emphasizing the sadness available through poetic flow could really produce a powerful emotional effect on readers. Make the pain beautiful.
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