I'll tell you the truth, I read the first couple of lines and got bored. Try to be a little more interesting. I did notice you need to work on you punctuation a bit, not periods and question marks but apostrophe's and commas. Try to be more interesting.
Wow, I didnt find a single hting wrong with this poem. It is an amazing free vers epoem that anyone woudl be proud to write. I think that you should continue on this, make it a story told in poems, that would be amazing, please, if you like my idea, message me, I would be glad to help
I could not get the files open, but this sounds like an amzing story. It seems like the kind of story that you can build on even after the main conflict is resolved. If you would make the story a text document on this site it would me most appreciated.
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